Pop quiz time! What's worse than one cover of "Kung Fu Fighting"? If you answered "three covers of 'Kung Fu Fighting,'" then, sadly, you are right on the money.
For the Jamaican market, Pepsi has enlisted Shaggy, T-Pain and the relative newcomer Tami Chynn to re-record Carl Douglas' Orientalist 1974 hit, "Kung Fu Fighting." Through some miracle of irreverent modern marketing, all three can be downloaded as free ringtones at www.pepsikungfu.com if users destroy a building with a green T-rex wearing a party hat. If that weren't enough, in a national TV spot featuring Chynn's rendition, all three entertainers appear alongside Verne Troyer while people battle over cans of Pepsi and more dinosaurs battle in the streets and my god, what am I watching?
We understand this song was a major hit in Jamaica 30 years ago, and maybe we can chalk some of it up to cultural differences, and Chynn is part Chinese, but this thing offends on so many levels. From the "hilarity" of a fighting little person to the sheer laziness of the cover to Chynn singing the line, "They were funky Chinamen from funky Chinatown," this spot makes us cringe as if we were reading Archie Bunker's friends-only Live Journal.
Please, let us keep this foreign menace off U.S. shores.
[Via Jamaica Gleaner]