Ad Age Audio Reports

Quick Cuts

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How about this for a jewelry site called Mondera.com: This woman got a diamond engagement ring and matching wedding band, total retail value $12,200, "Because she laughs hysterically whenever anyone says the word `nougat.' " A special message to this woman's husband: When we hear the word "nougat," we wet ourselves, then we have a spastic laughing fit that involves twitching on the floor and kicking our feet so hard our shoes fly off. Then we throw up. Can't you buy us a pair of gold cufflinks or something?

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"You don't unwrap it, you undress it." What the hell is up with this "Seize the Night" Milky Way Midnight campaign? It hasn't got Viagra or roofies in it, it's nothing more than "seductively bold chocolate, golden caramel and vanilla nougat. All covered up without any tricky hooks in the back." Yeah, why can't chicks wear candy wrappers instead of those pesky bra things? Wait! It's gotta be the nougat! You don't need to hear the word, it's the thing itself. Babes take one bite and they're laughing so hard, you can do anything to them. Hey, Mondera hubby: Buy us 5,000.

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L.S.M.F.T. What does it mean to us? Give us a break, Lucky Strike, will ya? We're still trying to figure out what you mean by "actual deliveries will vary based on how you hold and smoke your cigarette,"_printed in your tar and nicotine content blurb. If you hold it with your foot and smoke it with your ass, you can probably do an easy three packs a day and not even get a cough. Plus, you'll be the star of your yoga class.