The Work

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Hats off

These point-of-purchase posters for Harvey visors, from Boston's Pagano Schenck & Kay, are helping to bring the product from the geriatric to the collegiate set. We know that no ancient Romans or Vikings will complain, but is there any concern over the Muslim guy? "You should have seen the ones that got killed," quips CD Woody Kay. Apparently the client decided not to go with the S&M guy based on "The Gimp" from Pulp Fiction.

Client: Harvey Visors Agency: Pagano Schenck & Kay, Boston CD: Woody Kay AD: Kevin Daley CW: Tim Cawley Illustrator: Chip Wass Photographer: Clark Quin Production Manager: Dorothy Urlich

Prosthetic sensibility

A band of pirates stare at a big hunk of cheese. "Don't even think about it," snaps a burly character to a little guy who's about to get grabby. "Why do we always have to wait for the Captain?" he growls. Before a mutiny can ensue, we see one peg and one leg clomping down the stairs. The fearsome captain surveys his crew with beady eyes, raises his arm, and at the end is not a hand, not a hook, but a cheese slicer. Giddily, he shouts, "Let's eat!" The pirates then engage in a happy little cheese-fueled jig. The spot ends with the familiar, "Ahh, the power of cheese." Yo ho ho and a bucket o' brie.

Client: Dairy Management Inc. Agency: DDB/Chicago CCO: Bob Scarpelli GCD: Don Pogany CDS: Craig Feigen & Adam Glickman AD: Kevin Kearns CWS: Bart Culberson & Scott Smith Director: David Kellogg, Propaganda Producer: Greg Popp Editor: Glen Martin, Nomad

Suds and studs

Not since Lucky Vanous, the Diet Coke guy, has a hot, sweaty bare-chested man been ogled by so many women (including half the Creativity staff). But Temerlin McClain's "Car Wash" spot for a Subaru SUV features model/actor Devin McWhirter in what CD Artie Megibben describes as a reversal of the notorious scene in Cool Hand Luke where Susan St. George washes a car. He says of the beefcake, "We certainly had females in mind when we worked it up. The Subaru Forester skews high with women." Oh, there was a car in the spot?

Client: Subaru Agency: Temerlin McClain, Dallas CD: Artie Megibben AD: Gary Smith CW: Steve Spencer Director: Zack Snyder, HSI Producer: Sam Milgram Editors: Jack Waldrip & Dave Laird (on-line), Charlie Uniform Tango Music: David Dundas Audio Mix: Russell Smith, Charlie Uniform Tango

Snowboard on board

Boulder-based TDA Advertising and Swedish client Thule car rack systems know what makes Coloradans tick and where their priorities lie. Three print ads illustrate how sporting gear is right up there with family. Actually, up and over. This little gem shows a snowboard strapped into a child's car seat while the kid sits next to it. Another features a biker filling his tires with Grandpa's oxygen. The third one is a family portrait sans wife but with kayak. The headline simply states, "We know what matters to you."

Client: Thule Agency: TDA, Boulder CD/CW: Jonathan Schoenberg AD: Dan Richardson CW: Eric Liebhauser Photographer: Brooks Freehill

The scorn of porn

After receiving these print ads from Matthews/Mark, we logged out of www.rickymartinwet.com to check out www.websense.

com and find out more about it. We learned that, "Websense software filters objectionable Web Sites, maximizing access to work-related information." Because, as the ads tell us, "Up to 70% of Internet porn traffic, auction bidding and stock trading occurs during the 9-to-5 workday." Hey, we only spend 50 percent of our day doing that. We're 20 percent too productive!

Client: Websense Agency: Matthews/Mark, San Diego CD/CW: Michael Mark ACD: Mark Albertazzi AD: Paul Kreutz CW: Guy Hufferd Photographer: Marshall Williams

Leave it to cleavage

Speak softly and carry a big rack. D'Arcy/New York and Lily of France show us that the new adjustable X-Bra will help you put your best bust forward. The print pieces, which are appearing as wild postings, Go Cards and magazine ads, feature the sexy stylings of photographer Moshe Brahka. Another execution featuring a busty chick in red bra-and-panties set reads, "Unite and Conquer." Sorry guys: the ads don't come in a 3D version, just these 34Ds.

Client: X-Bra Agency: D'Arcy/New York GCDS: Michelina Pagano & Palmer Davis AD: Neil McCutcheon CWS: Jenine Holmes, Billy Barnes, Haley Panzer & Katie Hutchinson Photographer: Moshe Brahka

Who wants to be an idiot?

TBWA/Chiat/Day/San Francisco offers a new campaign that's light on copy but heavy on concept. A woman working at a coat check growls out "Sputnik." A man in his office does the same; so does a woman getting a massage. When we get to the guy in bed with his girlfriend who yells out "Sputnik," it starts to get a little creepy. It continues with more and more people getting more and more anxious about the word "Sputnik." The scene shifts to a television where a goofy-looking woman says shakily, "Sky Lab?" Buzz, up comes the tag, "You know you know," and finally the Game Show Network logo appears. Other spots include "Botulism," the wrong answer being "salmonella," and "Marsupial" in which the unlucky contestant utters our favorite word, "rodent."

Client: Game Show Network Agency: TBWA/Chiat/Day/San Francisco CD: Chuck McBride ACD: Rob Smiley AD: Tia Lustig CW: Jeremy Postaer Director: Roman Coppola, Directors Bureau Producer: Betsy Beale Editor: David Herman, Plank

Food fright

Cliff Freeman & Partners makes another comedy breakthrough, this time with an old nude man for Church's Chicken. Three spots for the fried chicken chain feature unappetizing food and unappetizing people, led by "Grandpa," in which a family, complete with two young girls, is sitting down to a dinner of bland mushy-looking food, when guess who enters the room to join them. Too bad he's balls-out naked. Dad is appropriately disgusted and sends the old man away. "Why would he do that?" Mom asks as Grandpa merrily saunters off. The title, "Maybe it's your cooking," comes up. Cut to the usual mouth-watering tabletop shot and the VO, "What made from scratch should taste like." Other efforts to get out of dinner include a little boy lighting up a cig at the dinner table and being sent to his room, and a faded Death of a Salesman type who just doesn't come home in time for dinner all week. "You're having an affair," the wife cries. "It's that young secretary!" Hubby's weary answer: "I don't have a secretary."

Client: Church's Chicken Agency: Cliff Freeman & Partners, New York CD: Cliff Freeman ACD/AD: Taras Wayner CW: Adam Chasnow Director: Paul Gay, Omaha Pictures Producer: Liz Graves Editor: Andrea Macarthur, The Whitehouse at Post Factory

Sounds delish

A fat, sweaty, hairy guy is in a kitchen preparing some kind of food (sans gloves). He putters around the filthy kitchen, swats a fly, (it lands in the chopped tomatoes), and examines his knife blade. Almost absent-mindedly he uses it to scrape under his arms. He then peers into a pot of tomato sauce - a little drop of snot forms on the end of his nose, and in slow-mo it falls into the pot. What is this ad selling? There's no dialogue, the only sound is that of Italian accordion music. We had Sony PlayStation flashbacks, but the tag comes up, "Today's hit music, served up hot and fresh daily. KZHT 94.9." The parting shot, if you will, is a big ole wedgie-pick. We won't even tell you about the spot which features skanky Gen Y-ers bottling water.

Client: KZHT 94.9 Agency: Razor, Salt Lake City CD/CW: David Morring AD: Richard Oliver Director: Greg Kiefer, Cosmic Pictures Sound Engineer: Michael Hansen

Gentlemen, choose your weapon

Who says gratuitous violence can't be fun? In this :30 for 989 Studios' Syphon Filter 2 for the Playstation, the hero, Gabe Logan, is running along the top of a train shooting bad guys. Just as he's about to blast his next victim, the dead-meat-to-be holds up his hands and asks, "Do you have something a little less painful?" Logan looks thoughtful and points to the scrolling weapons menu bar. "Crossbow?" offers the gun-toting hero. "Too messy," the victim replies. They haggle a bit more, until Logan loses his patience and humanely stuns the guy with a taser - only to kick him off the speeding train. As good a time as any for the, "This game is rated M for mature," voiceover.

Client: 989 Studios Agency: Butler, Shine & Stern/SF CDS: John Butler, BS&S & Barry Bruce, Will Vinton Studios AD: Jason Stansfield CW: Ryan Edner Director: Mike Wellins, Will Vinton Producers: Trisha Cunningham, BS&S; Zilpha Yost, Leslie O'Connor & Amy Massingale, Will Vinton Animators: Allan Steele, Dyche Alsker & Tracy Larson, Will Vinton Editor: George Shubin, Will Vinton Sound: One Union Recording Studios

Play with your fruit

No, this is not Calista Flockhart at the Emmys. Nutrio.com, a weight-loss site, features these fabulous fruits and veggies print pieces to illustrate the weight-loss concept in a healthy fashion. According to the press release, "The objective is to show that food is a friend, not an enemy." Speaking of friends, the chicks from "Friends" could all split the pear for lunch.

Client: Nutrio.com Agency: William Harris Advertising, Boca Raton AD: Judy Penny CW: Steve Horowitz Photographer: Philip Habib Print Production: Philip Radin

Loveline online

In a stark white room, young people and a distinguished-looking middle-aged man sit around discussing sex. The latest offering from Aaron Spelling? Nope, it's a series of spots for DrDrew.com, described on the site as "a lifestyle online community for 14- to 24-year-olds." The site features live Webcasts twice a week, chat rooms, forums and information on relationships, sex, and health issues. In other words, the usual youth hang, with a slight medical bent. Needless to say, the commercials focus only on sex. In "Size," a too-honest fellow talks about how having a four-inch penis is fine. "After all, four inches is still four inches," he reasons. If that wasn't bad enough he then goes on to explain that two minutes is an ample amount of time for the act to last. At this point, all the babes who were listening disappear (log off), accompanied by a "ding" sound. Another spot, "Itch," starts with Dr. Drew and a guy who is scratching his crotch. He explains the situation as other itchy guys log on to listen to Dr. Drew explain about the treatment of crabs. Isn't the Web wonderful?

Client: DrDrew.com Agency: Tool of North America CD/CW: Scott Burns AD: Ellen Steinberg CW: Craig Joiner Director: Erich Joiner, Tool Producers: Diedre Harrington & Joby Ochsner, Tool Editor: Eric Zumbrunnen, Spotwelders Post: Company Three & Sea Level Sound Design: Ear to Ear Audio Post: Christie Cash & Chris Winston, Audio Banks

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