The Katka Questionnaire

Published on .

What is the Pets.com sock puppet doing, now that his site has folded?

He's making nightly appearances in Tom Jones' pants.

What is your least favorite product to advertise, and why?

Yams. Do I have to be more specific?

How would you save the Oldsmobile brand from its imminent demise?

Bring back a loved car like the Delta 88 - it worked for VW.

The Keebler Elves have a gang war with the Seven Dwarves. Who wins, and why?

Snow White can be a bitch - I'd go with the Dwarves.

If your life story was made into a TV movie, who would play you?

A Keebler Elf.

What products can we expect Al Gore to endorse?

Paper clips, nose spray and carpet cleaner.

Name all the Spice Girls.

Sneezy, Dopey, Bashful and Doc.

Does the underwear you have on right now have any effect on your creativity?

Boxers let the mind roam free.

Who's your dream client?

A cobbler.

If God advertised, what agency would he hire?

God might prefer word of mouth.

If the Devil advertised, what agency would he hire?

Some direct mail agency.

Is your life more like living in an ant colony or a beehive?

I get stung in the ass all the time. Beehive.

Devise a mathematical formula that calculates the dimensions of the typical creative director's ego.

Insecurity + 1972 Clio = Black Cowboy Boots.

Do you think all outdoor advertising should be banned?

Keep the ads, nix the cars.

What would you name a brand of cigarettes aimed at 14-year-olds?

Stunted Growth or Tight Butts.

Do you smoke after sex?

Only if I've been listening to Britney Spears.

What will be the next big trend in advertising?

Good work.

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