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The age of advertising as defined by the post-war boom in the consumer marketplace and modern broadcast technique will be fully extinct by the year 2012. Television will become more and more of an abstract and antiquated notion of broadcast as broadband Internet becomes the next over-saturated media venue. Original content and advertising for television will be considered as charmingly quaint as Burma-Shave road ads around 2015. Email will be destroyed by advertising; the near-instant global communication Email once provided will be replaced by cool-ass Walkie-Talkies. Watch for free cellular phone services to pop up, under the caveat that before one makes a call, one must listen to or watch a short ad. Calls will be monitored for marketing points, buzzwords, and brand saturation.

So, yes. TV will die. However, each and every flat surface that can support a screen will. Advertising will explode across the landscape like pimples on prom night; there will be no escape from the coming Ad Plagues. Viral Marketing becomes terrifyingly literal -- inoculations and vaccines against Product Sickness will prove useless. H.I.V.H.1 asserts broadcast superiority over Florida, Arizona Bay, and other major retirement centers in the United States. A particularly rampant strain of the EboAOLa Virus will create feral tribes of young girls incapable of speaking any language other than AIMglish. LOL! OMG! They will speak in all-caps, and rend men's flesh from bone for sport.

Billions of people will find themselves falling victim to Extreme Target Marketing. Product Loyalty will become secondary to Brand Loyalty; Brand Loyalty will trump any other creed or nationality. The Second Cola Wars (2021-2023) will prove this point in blood and syrup as The Royal Crown Successionists manage to claim more than 60% of what is currently known as "Mexico". Royal Crown's Mexicola, as the new nation will be named, will reopen to diplomatic relations with The United Nations of Benetton after claiming the lives of more than two million volunteers in the KISS Army.

Hardcore Pornography is the new black. After the Ashcroft Pornopograms of 2006 clears Porn Valley out of California and into it's new capital of Bukkakey West, Florida, major media initiatives marrying porno and advertising will inject triple-X action into even the most innocent of products. Laugh all you like, but when you see how effective Siamese sex dwarves are at peddling adult diapers you can't say we didn't warn you.

What does this mean for the art of advertising? Quite simply, we here at MK12 feel that Andy Warhol got it wrong. In the future, everyone will be branded for 15 minutes. We have begun research and development into Personal Branding Initiatives (PBI). MK12 has already started mastering the art of Personal Broadcast. We can deliver a logo that announces your presence and personality to the world with an emphasis on clarity of messaging. We custom-craft your brand to reach as wide a demographic as possible -- specializing in the 18-22 male demo, of course -- in a memorable manner that insures you will be talked about. Jaw-dropping animated effects and graphics treatments insure you a defining presence in the modern world. Everyday is the Super Bowl. We are all corporations now.

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