10 Commandments broken in first eight episodes of 'Desperate Housewives'

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1. Thou shalt have no other gods.

Gabrielle worships the material things.

2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

"Oh for God's sake, Bree, manipulate him. That's what we do."

3. Remember to keep holy the Lord's day.

ABC gets "Desperate" on Sunday night.

4. Honor thy father and thy mother.

Lynette's twin terrors push mother over the edge.

5. Thou shalt not steal.

Martha makes off with Mary Alice's blender.

6. Thou shalt not kill.

Mary Alice's widower, Paul, whacks Martha with said blender.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

Gabrielle gets mowed by the lawn boy.

8. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.

Ensemble.

9. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife.

See No. 7

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house nor any thing that is thy neighbor's.

Susan burns down Edie's house.

Score: 10 out of 10. Go to hell.

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