I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but this still bears repeating: The agency/creative community continues to face a severe shortage of opportunities for self-congratulation.
On Thursday, as my colleague Shareen Pathak reported, the Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity announced that it's taking much-needed action by adding a new category to honor product design. She noted that this category and its four subsections -- consumer goods; well-being and environmental impact; interface; and something called "solution" -- comes on top of other 2014 Cannes changes, including a revamped Cyber Lions category "with added sub-categories including social, branded technology and branded games, and the addition of Lions Health, a separate event within the Festival aimed at the healthcare industry." (More entries means more money for the Festival, of course. Shareen pointed out that last year Cannes saw a record 35,765 entries.)
All great, but clearly not enough.
Though the Cannes Lions International Festival of Creativity didn't ask me to help out, I did so anyway, because that's just the kind of guy I am. So, without further ado -- and I just want to add that I'm so proud of all of us ... the entire team (even you, Ken), and that I absolutely would not be up here (on my high horse) if it weren't for all of you -- some suggestions for additional new categories and sub-categories that could really help bring Cannes Lions up to date and truly reflect the diversity of creativity that the creative industry creates every day, so very creatively:
• Best Team-Written Pre-Scripted "Real-Time" Tweet
• Best Integrated Snapchat Campaign (for which the new Disappearing Cyber Lions will be awarded)
• Best Branded Content & Entertainment: GIFs, Cat-Related
• Best Branded Content & Entertainment: GIFs, Non-Cat-Related
• Most Impactful Interface Solution
• Best Implementation of an Activation
• Best Execution of an Activation's Implementation
• To supplement the Cannes Lions Titanium: the Cannes Lions Tanzanite, the Cannes Lions Topaz, the Cannes Lions Zirconium and the Cannes Lions 5c (available in your choice of white, pink, yellow, blue or green)
• Best Sofia Vergara Ad: Outdoor
• Best Sofia Vergara Ad: Indoor
• Best Sofia Vergara Ad: Mobile
• Best Sofia Vergara Ad: Stationary
• Film Craft … Services, for outstanding achievement in cheese platters, vegetable sticks and dips on commercial shoots
• Cutest Agency Dog
• Cutest Agency Pet That's Not a Dog (And Also Not a Cat*)
• Best Hyperlocal iBeacon Retail NPOP (Near-Point-of-Purchase) Campaign: Pasta and Dry Goods Aisle, International Food and Canned Meats Aisle, Snacks and Drinks Aisle, etc.
• Best Unbranded Content
• To supplement the existing Creative Effectiveness category, a new subcategory titled Creative Effectiveness: Awards Acquisition -- for those creative campaigns shown to be most effective at winning awards (to be awarded in the new Post-Lions Lions)
*Cats not eligible
Simon Dumenco is the "Media Guy" columnist for Advertising Age. You can follow him on Twitter @simondumenco.