Yesterday, several friends (or maybe I should say "friends") sent me a link to the video embedded below -- and a reader asked "Did Google+ pay BAE-BS to create this atrocity as a stealth attack on Facebook?" (BAE-BS, pronounced "babes," is Brand Anti-Endorsement and Boycott Services, my new -- and entirely fictitious -- consulting firm which, for nominal fees, "can arrange to make sure your competitor's product becomes synonymous with the douchiest douchebags from today's celebrity scene.")
What you are about to see (warning: it can't be unseen) is the so-horrible-it's-hilarious music video for the song "Facebook Official" from a new five-member boy band called Heart2Heart. (They're backed by 'NSYNC alum Lance Bass, who makes a cameo appearance. Is Lance punking us? Let us pray.) The video started going viral because it showed up on Buzzfeed yesterday; now the rest of the internet is catching on (e.g., New York magazine's widely-read Vulture blog posted it this morning). Heart2Heart is , quite simply, the new Rebecca "Friday" Black -- except with a baked-in social-media twist, because instead of just musing about the joys of a particular day of the week, Heart2Heart dives deep into the nuances of human relationships as signified by the changing of one's relationship status on Facebook. Some sample lyrics:
Put a heart on your page, heart-heart on your page
Let's make it official
Baby you and me, you and me
Oh, hell. Here's some more:
Status update, what?
Checking the pics of your butt
Did you see that link on your wall?
Girl, I don't wanna play Farmville, I just wanna play for real
If you were looking for an excuse to quit Facebook, now you've got five new ones: Chad, Pete, Brayden, Nico and KX.
Simon Dumenco is the "Media Guy" media columnist for Advertising Age. Follow him on Twitter @simondumenco.