Last night at 10:29 p.m. ET, Gawker's Seth Abramovitch published a post titled "Read a Disgruntled Whole Foods Employee's Epic Resignation Letter." Gawker trumpeted it as an "Exclusive" and so far it's racked up more than 70,000 page views (according to Gawker's on-site counter). Abramovitch didn't even post the whole letter -- but what he did run totals almost 2,500 words.
Trust me, you're going to want to read it -- particularly if you've ever shopped at Whole Foods, which the disgruntled employee dubs a "faux hippy Wal-Mart." But even if you haven't, it's one of the most wildly entertaining bits of media you're likely to consume this week given that the ranting employee is so completely unhinged and often hilariously hyper-personal about the failings of specific Whole Foods managers. (Gawker deleted all names; the Whole Foods store in question is apparently in Toronto.) For instance:
Dear [REDACTED], I don't think you could calm down enough and become a happy, tolerable person if you were to do yoga in a hot spring while high on ecstasy. Daily. For the rest of your life. Just wouldn't happen. I haven't met a single person working under you or who has worked under you who doesn't loath the way you treat people. Your job doesn't matter AT ALL. Get over it, relax and start treating people with a shred of respect. Chances are, you'll improve a lot of lives. Possibly even your own. I do have a suspicion that you're a sociopath though. Especially now, after seeing your reaction to you-know-who's hospital visit. If that is the case, this was futile. May I suggest some acting classes? You're not very good at pretending to be a complete, emotional, sincere human being.
And on and on and on!
This is totally going to become a media moment. I mean, it's so perfectly timed -- so Zeitgeisty -- what with "Horrible Bosses" in theaters right now (and doing $82 million at the box office so far).
Does Whole Foods respond? Let it slide? Does Gawker turn this into one of its endless crusades, like how it's been pummeling American Apparel since last summer? (Seth Abramovitch ended his post with "And I'll throw this out to Whole Foods employees -- is there a quinoa of truth to what he's saying? Email me." Stay tuned.)
And most importantly, does Aaron "The Social Network" Sorkin option the email and turn this into the 2013 Oscar-contender "The Food Chain"?
Simon Dumenco is the "Media Guy" media columnist for Advertising Age. Follow him on Twitter @simondumenco.
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