AdSense -- n. An automated, senseless act of violence against the traditional advertising industry.
Ballmer -- v. To endlessly pursue someone who is not interested (after Microsoft chief Steve Ballmer's endless pursuit of Yahoo). Usage: That dude was totally ballmering me, so finally I ended up giving him a fake cellphone number.
Content -- n. 1. A deposed ruler. 2. A king-turned-pauper.
Digg -- v. To impose one's dubious taste on a larger group. Usage: The rest of us wanted to go to Denny's, but Bob digged us and we ended up at Chuck E. Cheese.
Follower -- n. A person who pretends to be interested in what you are doing in hopes that you will pretend to be interested in what they are doing.
Google Street View -- n. A service newly expanded into Great Britain that stalks hapless subjects of the Queen who vomit on their shoes after one too many pints.
Huffpo' -- adj. Impoverished due to the total devaluation of content (derived from the traditional abbreviation of the Huffington Post). Usage: I used to have a thriving writing career, but now I'm huffpo'.
iPhone -- n. A device you keep checking instead of paying attention to ... Hello? Excuse me? I was talking here.
Kindle -- v. To burn your old business model. Usage: After sticking all their content on the web on sites like Hulu, network TV executives ended up kindling prime time.
LGC -- abbr.: Loser-generated content: content created by trained professionals that has no economic value in the new economy; antonym for UGC (user-generated content). Usage: Our revised business model projects profitability within 18 months once we replace all our LGC with UGC.
Micropayment -- n. 1. A media-industry salary; 2. A newly reduced paycheck that you're just relieved isn't $0 (yet).
Nanoblog -- n. A blog-like service (e.g., Twitter) that is so compact it has no room at all for a revenue model.
Placeshifting -- n. Moving one's consumption of media from a place where a content purveyor is able to generate healthy profits to a different place in which the content creator has no hopes of ever recouping costs.
Quantcast -- n. A treatment for split-personality disorder (see: Unique, below).
Revenue -- n. A legendary mythical entity similar to the Loch Ness Monster or Sasquatch. Usage: Our CFO says our start-up hasn't seen any revenue yet, but we have 50 million uniques!
Statusphere -- n. A virtual version of high school for insecure old people. Usage: He's totally huge in the statusphere -- he's got 1,154 followers!
Tweet -- v. 1. To quickly bore. Usage: Hand me the remote, this show is already tweeting me. 2. To describe the uninteresting food you have just eaten to uninterested parties; from the Latin, tweetarium (a Greek diner menu).
Unique -- n. A split personality -- usually three people in one (you at work, you at home, you on your iPhone).
VC -- abbr.: Venture charity. Usage: We know our half-baked start-up will never, ever generate revenue, so we're hoping to coast for a few years on an infusion of VC money.
WAYD? -- abbr.: What Are You Doing?; similar to WWJD?, only you are Jesus, and everybody is following you because you've become convinced that your every tossed-off utterance is some sort of divine revelation.
Zzzzzzz -- n. A typical response to a tweet.