It's time once again for the Media Guy Media Studies Pop Quiz. I sure hope you've been paying attention. All books and papers off your desk. Now, people!
The Switched blog's video crew regularly hits Times Square to ask random passersby if they can identify the latest heavily hyped tech thing. "We've never seen our subjects as stymied as they were when trying to identify Foursquare," Switched noted in late June, adding that "In the end, we were only able to find one urbanite who was able to tell us that Foursquare was a location-based social-networking application." What else did the Times Square men-and-women-in-the-street reveal?
- "You can Gawker my Gizmodo, but no touching!"
- "Someone just tried to Groupon my bit.ly!"
- "The perverts around here think I'm totally Mashable."
- "Is there a drugstore near here? I think I'm getting a rash on my vuvuzela."
Speaking of location-based social-networking applications, what should you do if you're approached by a Gowalla?
- Don't make any sudden movements -- just quietly back away while saying, in a soothing voice, "Nice Gowalla, good Gowalla, handsome Gowalla."
- Tweet loudly to distract it.
- Throw your cellphone at it and run!
- If mauled, immediately "check in" to the nearest emergency room.
On July 24, YouTube users around the world are being invited to submit footage of their daily lives for a user-generated feature-length documentary, "Life in a Day," to be "directed" by Kevin Macdonald and produced by Ridley Scott. What are some of the expected highlights?
- Kittehs playing with iPads!
- Kittehs serving as combination lap-warmers and iPad stands!
- Kitteh After Dentist.
Given the instant success of The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando Resort, what other movie franchises are getting the theme-park treatment?
- Toy Story Playland -- where grown men can weep about their lost youth and meditate about the power of play, then group-hug.
- Sex and the City World in Dubai, with Miranda Water Slide.
- Twilight Eclipse Land, where hot muscled male employees stand around with their shirts off. (Oh, wait -- that theme park already exists. It's called Abercrombie & Fitch.)
- The Last Airbender Trailer Park.
Microsoft recently canceled its new Kin line of mobile phones. Why?
- Early Christmas gift to tech bloggers, whose days were made getting to write headlines like "Somebody notify the next of kin, the Microsoft Kin is dead."
- Nagging Microsoft Mom feature disturbingly reminiscent of Clippy, the Office Assistant Paperclip.
- Microsoft Gay Uncle wouldn't shut up about Lady Gaga.
- Consumers lost interest in lame "kin" puns.
Speaking of mobile phones, according to Apple what is the proper way to hold the perfect, flawless iPhone 4 so that your your stupid, reception-impairing human flesh doesn't screw with the antenna?
- Clench the iPhone 4 between your knees -- but only if you're wearing long pants or a long dress, not shorts or a miniskirt.
- If wearing shorts or a miniskirt, first cover both knees with $29 iKneepads (not to be confused with iPads), then slide iPhone 4 into insulated iKneepad grooves; dial iPhone with elbow.
- With $59 iTongs.
- Place it on a bar stool.
Last Wednesday, European superstar DJ Tiesto -- famous for being able to fill 25,000-seat stadiums as a headline act -- became a Top 10 Twitter Trending Topic as rumors spread that he'd been killed in a car accident on California's Interstate 80. Tiesto later denied that he was dead. What's the deal?
- Tiesto is in serious denial. It's sad, really.
- Tiesto is shamelessly ripping off Mark Twain's social-media marketing strategy.
- Twitter Fact-Check-Whale Fail.
- Tiesto held his iPhone -- and the steering wheel -- the wrong way while driving.
Pop star Prince stated last week that "The internet's completely over." What's got him all worked up?
- Complacent fans failed to sufficiently retweet Prince's "Hey, y'all, I just died in a car accident" tweet, depriving diminutive rocker his rightful turn on Top 10 Twitter Trending Topics list.
- Failure of major computer and smartphone manufacturers to revise standard QWERTY keyboard to include unpronounceable Prince glyph symbol.
- Duh -- Justin Bieber.
- Prince's virtual turnip crop on FarmVille decimated one too many times by virtual aphids.
Speaking of FarmVille, Gizmodo reports that FarmVille-branded food items have begun rolling out in 7-Elevens across the country as part of a summer promotion. What happens if you eat FarmVille food?
- Doves cry.
- Your Facebook status is automatically updated to "Feeling woozy, bloated."
- GlaxoSmithKline automatically emails you a $1-off coupon for new e-Tums.
- You poop in ones and zeros.
KEY: The correct answer is A -- unless it's B, C or D.
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Simon Dumenco is the "Media Guy" media columnist for Advertising Age. You can follow him on Twitter @simondumenco.