DataCenter Staff

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``Would you like to super-size that?'' Randy Uecker, uke@mindspring.com Excellent work. An Old McDonald tie-in! And notice that we're not making any ``Just how randy is your uecker?'' jokes, we're way too mature for that. Copy: ``You ache for the pulsing throb of fully engorged passion. You crave the dew-drenched wings of desire to flutter open like the tender pink petals of a magnolia on a steaming August morning . . .'' Steve Jones, steve@smith-winchester.com Steve, the only thing steaming this morning is the dungpile of your purple prose. ``Don't forget the companion product for the ladies: Moist Sheep Wort. Now available in a convenient liquid form. Have a drank and throw some stank.'' Jonathan Moore, jonathan@sellsclark.com Yeah, this is a must-buy item, `cause a guy on Horny Goat Weed has to be careful he doesn't get rooster cogburn. Tag: ``Ewe won't believe the difference it makes.'' Michael Giunta, giuntawrites@yahoo.com Mike, may we suggest you soak your privates in Woolite? ``Little Boy Blue, why so forlorn? The sheep's in the meadow, the cow's in the corn. Forget the animals, boogie till morn. Try Horny Goat Weed. She'll come blow your horn!'' Mike Miller, mlmiller@9point.com Is it a dingle jingle? If you'd bothered to get Little Jack Horner out of his corner and onto Little Miss Muffet's tuffet, you coulda been a contender, man. ``Also available in new Dirty Pig flavor!'' Nikos Plaitakis, visual_mercenary@yahoo.com So you're a visual mercenary, Nikos? Does that mean we have to pay you for this disgusting image? How come that old goat Bob Dole isn't the spokesman for this product? Julia Laricheva, xximportxx@hotmail.com He doesn't need drugs anymore. He just sits in a tub filled with Pepsi and sings, ``Come alive . . .'' Good news: You were horny as a goat. Bad news: She's having your kid. Steve Broderson, sbroderson@cornettadv.com Steve, do a barnyard strut, you're the cock of the walk. This doesn't work as ad copy, but you've proved the sword is mightier than the hen. Sorry, but we can't send you the DVD, we had to burn it. It had foot-and-mouth disease.

on 04.01.2001