The Kafka Questionaire

Published on .

Does David Beckham's U.S. soccer presence mean it's actually possible for you to watch more than 10 minutes of this sport?
Not if it interferes with Barney.

What will be the title of Paris Hilton's prison memoir?
No dicks for a day.

If Coke is love, what's Pepsi?

How big a turn-on is Rudy Giuliani in drag?
It depends on what he does with his hair.

Invent a slogan for the NFL to spin the fact that football causes brain damage.
"How can you damage what you don't have?"

What's Donald Rumsfeld doing right now?
Rubbing one out.

Does Bill Gates carry a wallet?
Yes, in his man purse.

What's Pat Robertson's pet phrase for an orgasm?
"Here comes Mr. Softy."

What's the single most important way the late Bob Denver of Gilligan's Island changed your life?
It's always OK to sleep with the skipper.

The late Saul Bellow fathered a child when he was 84. Name a more impressive physical feat from your own life.
We still wake up if we don't have a job.

How is a container of Pringles like the human condition?
Some are always broken.

What's the nastiest thing you ever said to a client?
"We never thought of that."

Whatever happened to Charlie the Tuna?
He lives in Long Beach.

Do you own a Tivo and do you skip all the commercials?
Yeah, but not the ones we should have done.

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