The Kafka Questionnaire

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Mel Gibson1s planning a miniseries on the Holocaust. What will he title it?

Mel Gibson's Holocaust.

What do they call Donald Trump in Japan?


What1s the slogan for the new WonderJock?

"Finally, a place for your used teabag."

What exactly is the relationship between Chief Justice John Roberts and Julia Roberts?

They have the same last name.

Was Robert Mitchum a Mitchum Man?

I smell a paternity suit.

Who will Russell Crowe hit next and with what object?

The late Ian Dury. With his rhythm stick.

The late Saul Bellow fathered a child when he was 84. Name a more impressive physical feat from your own life.

I fathered Saul Bellow.

What would you wear while working with Betty Crocker Supermoist German Cake Mix?

Betty Crocker Supermoist German Cake Mix.

If you had an ad on the back of your fortune cookie fortune, what would it say?

"Enjoy the next 30 seconds, fucker!" (They would, of course, be poisonous fortune cookies.)

What kind of guy buys a Hummer?

A business traveler with $5 burning a hole in his pocket.

What is Wendy's Dave Thomas doing in heaven?

Heaven? Good one.

What's the next idiotic beer trend?

Not drinking it.

Are there any gay Clydesdales?

You fishing for an introduction?

What do you get if you cross Dave Chappelle with David LaChapelle?

David Cross. Duh.

Name the first candy made with crystal meth and create a tagline.

Mentos. "The freshmaker."

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