The Kafka Questionnaire

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What kind of food would be in an HDTV dinner?

Really, really detailed hot dogs.

What could they do to liven up the Super Bowl halftime show?

Stage an execution.

What's the worst package design of all time?

Clear beer bottles. Oddly sample-like.

Is the Internet everything you were hoping it would be?

It simply isn't intrusive enough.

What's the title of the next movie to be inspired by a theme park ride, and who will direct?

Small World, by Wes Craven.

Create a new tourism slogan for San Francisco.

"You can't afford me."

What is Wendy's Dave Thomas doing in heaven?

Laughing about all that Soylent Green he sold.

What should McDonald's slogan really be?

"Hamburgle this."

What will the next Queer Eye spinoff be called?

Queer Eye for the Homeless Guy.

What's the tag for Uncle Ben's Condoleezza Rice?

"Put a little National Security on the back burner."

What's the female equivalent of Mountain Dew?

Coors Light.

Invent the most preposterous corporate name for a sports stadium.

The Mylanta, Your Lanta, Atlanta Dome.

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