A Moving Tribute to Junk Food

Times Writers Moves Me to Tears

By Published on .

Some days I'm thankful for the little things. For example, I'm thankful that whole milk is still legal (though my girlfriend won't let me buy it). I'm thankful that there's a Popeyes within walking distance from my home. And I'm thankful that The New York Times didn't stick this piece by Alex Witchel behind the Times Select wall.

Before singing the praises of Wonder Bread (which I didn't eat much of growing up in Louisiana, where Evangeline Maid ruled), Witchel sings of the junkfood eclectic: "Into every life some Kraft Singles, Hostess Sno Balls and Snickers bars must fall. Could you possibly substitute a wedge of that pampered Camembert for a workaday Kraft Single on a tuna melt? Never. And equal only to the fetishistic satisfaction of eating the filling of an Oreo before you eat the cookie is peeling the Sno Ball's coconut-sprinkled dome of marshmallow from the chocolate cupcake beneath it and saving its creamy center for last."

To paraphrase Homer Simpson, "Mmmmmmmmmmmm. Creamy center. Arggghhllllll."
Most Popular