Forget Lovemarks, Now We've Got 'Kama Sutra Marketing'

'Intimate Marketing' Brings Back the Human Touch

By Published on .

What's your favorite brand, uh, position?
What's your favorite brand, uh, position?
The latest industry tome isn't about neuromarketing or being a disruptive brand. It's about getting sensual with consumers.

In today's installment of bizarro press releases, one just hit our inboxes touting a book called "Intimate Marketing," which somehow involves the concept of "Kama Sutra concepts" in marketing. What's that ? Apparently, the idea that striking a more intimate relationship with consumers will boost your brand.

The author, Gil Peretz, claims there are eight characteristics of an effective customer courtship, which he describes using the anagram I.N.T.I.M.A.T.E. "In the era of Facebook, Twitter and other social networking tools, we've lost the human touch we once had with our customers," says Peretz. If you want to keep your customers forever -- and even steal them from competitors -- you need to implement a policy of intimate marketing today!"

The cover of the self-published book sports the words "International Best Seller" and the product description says that the book is the "first" "marketing novel" ever, so, grain of salt and all that .

Fittingly, on Amazon, the book cover depicts a long-stemmed red rose lying across a computer keyboard. Just what you always wanted, we know. The press release also notes that the book aims to be a bestseller along the lines of Ken Blanchard's "The One-Minute Manager." (Hmm, strange, since we thought Kama Sutra tactics and "one-minute" anything are diametrically opposed to each other.).

As ludicrous as the notion of Kama Sutra marketing is , Peretz is apparently not the first to think of it. A writer named Desiree Gullmann back in 2008 put together a list of 5 sensual tips for marketers, the best of which is "Don't forget foreplay."

"Be warned," she says. "Foreplay takes time and cannot be rushed. Nor should you expect instant results."

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