Come see the pervier side of Sears.
The product page was quickly pulled down, but its outing has unleashed a foul wind. An Ad Age investigation has found that the website of the iconic heartland retailer that once asked you to explore its softer side is awash in boner Ts and all other manner of crass material.
UPDATE: A Sears spokesman has since written to AdAge.com: "Thank you for bringing this to our attention. While products like this may appear on Sears.com marketplace through a third party seller, Sears does not sell them. We are removing these products from the site."
Sears.com's Marketplace section is described as "a community of sellers working with Sears to provide you with millions of additional products." Think Amazon's army of third-party vendors. Indeed, a few of these items can be found on Amazon.com (though Amazon doesn't have the squeaky-clean image usually associated with Sears).
What follows is an incomplete inventory of smut on Sears.com. Take the links for what they're worth, as we imagine they'll be coming down fast:
- As mentioned, a T-shirt with the phrase, "I [heart] Boners."
- Another proclaiming, "I [heart] Doggie Style."
- A sleeveless T-shirt reading, "I've Been to Hell/It's Full of Christians."
- One appropriating the Intel logo, with the words "Nympho Inside."
- An inscrutable riff on the milk ad slogan, "Got Doxie Poo?"
- A longsleeve shirt emblazoned with the warning, "Don't Make Me Kick You In the Fallopian Tubes." (That's already been pulled down.) Another shirt offered a similar admonition only subbing in "birth canal."
- A T-shirt urging, "Dominate Me."
- "I love ass" keychains.
- For the Brits, a bumper sticker bragging, "I molested your honour student."
- An "X-mas tuggie," which "keeps you hands-free and your junk covered wherever you go."
- The self-explanatory Fetish Fantasy Vinyl Teddy w/Split Crotch & Pasties in black.
- A license plate reading "Kiss my rebel ass" next to an image of the Confederate flag.
A representative couldn't immediately be reached for comment.