I am no longer content chaste:
I'm mad with love for my toothpaste!
No traditional marketing presaged
how deeply we two'd be engaged.
My brand likes to talk with me,
not just keep me cavity free.
Tho' tweets and likes do take a while,
the entertainment makes me smile.
Who knew that a corporate giant's
sense of humor was so compliant!
A video channel keeps me crushing
long after I've finished brushing.
I'm app'd never to be alone,
got toothpaste all over my mobile phone.
On one another we depend:
I am its, and it's my friend.
Old-fashioned ads were such a rip
compared to our relationship.
But, when I'm not content consuming,
the threat of breakup is always looming.
Our relationship depends on useless blather,
not on information that really matters.
By expertly avoiding a hint of sell,
"why use the stuff?" I can't quite tell.
No matter many forwards or clicks I see,
the stuff in the tube remains a commodity.
Despite the creative I'm bequeathed,
I kinda just need to brush my teeth.
Is it better? Faster? More reliably good?
I wish these truths I understood.
In fact, outside this media rigmarole,
we don't have much of a relationship at all.
A story-telling content arranger?
My toothpaste lover is a total stranger!
It must think I'm an obedient fool,
but I've preserved one decisive tool.
When I shop, our love doth pale:
I buy whatever brand's on sale.