The Kafka Questionnaire

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How many commercials do you watch in the course of a night spent relaxing in front of the TV?

None. I watch three shows at once.

What jingle would you like played at your funeral?

"Muncha buncha muncha buncha muncha buncha muncha buncha Fritos go with lunch."

Have you ever walked into a bar and said, "Gimme an MGD!"?

I don't have to. They already know me over at Scotty's.

What laundry detergent do you use? Describe as graphically as possible how white it gets your whites.

Tide gets my whites as white as Survivor Colby Donaldson's teeth.

Devise a mathematical formula that calculates the dimensions of the typical director's ego.

Ego equals British accent plus cigarettes smoked divided by how small the budget is.

Who would win a WWF-style smackdown between M&M's CG mascots and Snapple's walking fruit?

The M&M guys. They're carrying around way too much hostility over being called "plain" for so many years.

After Bob and Britney, what's the next politician/pop star endorsement duo, and what will they endorse?

Brandy and Janet Reno for Hanes Her Way in Japan.

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