'Who Wants to Be a Superhero?' Who Doesn't?

What Everyone Is Talking About

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NEW YORK (AdAge.com) -- So the Middle East is in the midst of horrific fighting, the World Trade Organization has suspended talks, global warming and soaring oil prices are making everyone more than a little uncomfortable. What's the world to do? Never fear, here comes Monkey Woman! And Iron Enforcer! And Cell Phone Girl! And Feedback! And Fat Momma!
Cell Phone Girl and Iron Enforcer
Cell Phone Girl and Iron Enforcer

Meet the wannabe superheroes. The Sci Fi Channel tomorrow night debuts a reality show that should probably be labeled an unreality show. Who Wants to Be a Superhero? was created by comic-book legend Stan Lee and Nash Entertainment, the producers behind "Meet My Folks" and "Who Wants to Marry My Dad?" So you know there's going to be no such thing as going too far on this one. The winner will be immortalized in a Stan Lee-authored comic book and be the star of a Sci Fi movie based on their superhero self.

Personally, Watercooler has high hopes for the requisite auditions. Caped Crusader wannabes were asked to come dressed as the superheroes they had created, complete with homemade costumes, gadgets, back stories, catchphrases and optional theme songs. (Fat Momma, a 42-year-old single mom whose superhero powers derive from doughnuts, wrote her own, and the website promises we won't be able to get it out of our heads!) There'll be little suspense as to who makes it through: The 11 contestants are already posted on the website.

For instance, anyone who's visited the site will know that Cell Phone Girl's superpowers consist of the ability to teleport from one active cellphone to another; eyes that can take digital photos; the ability to download any information available on a computer (e.g., learn Japanese on the fly); the ability to use cellphone waves to move physical objects; and the ability to fire beams from her cellphone. Her weaknesses? She loses her powers in areas with no cellphone service (e.g., valleys or tunnels) and she must recharge daily.

Iron Enforcer boasts the densest bone structure of any human, a mind-blowing "death punch" and an arsenal of high-tech weapons. The only being that can withstand his punch is The Hulk. Feedback, meanwhile, absorbs powers and abilities from video games he plays. But power lines give him headaches, and microwaves make him nauseous. He is seeking to learn why he is progressively losing his memory.

Monkey Woman, however, has to have the most inventive vulnerability ever ascribed to a superhero: She grows weak from the sound of music boxes or calliope organs. (Note the contrast to the vulnerability of the MPA's very own caped crusader Captain Read, who seems to have an inability to convince publishers he can save their ad pages.)

Each week, Stan Lee will put the 11 contestants through a series of challenges to prove their "courage, integrity, self-sacrifice, compassion and resourcefulness -- all traits that every true superhero must possess." We're pretty sure none of these heroes are up to saving the world, but we do have faith they will prove mighty diverting.
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