Over Lunch, at the Bar And Over the Cubicle Wall

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Tabloids report: Nick & Jess not the only couple on Earth.
Britney Spears has gained pole position in the race for next-big-celebrity-divorce, according to this week’s fresh crop of celebrity weeklies. Sure, Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson are in a “RUSH TO DIVORCE” (per Wenner Media’s Us Weekly), perhaps because Ms. Simpson now “wonders if her entire marriage was a sham -- say pals” (Bauer’s Celebrity Living Weekly).

But good gossip is half anticipation, news that is either not necessarily true or not true at all … yet. Bauer's In Touch Weekly makes a good show of the first kind of news with its exclusive cover story, "JESSICA'S BREAKUP DIARY." The diary entries inside were not (surprise!) written by Ms. Simpson.

Turning to news that is not yet true, we learn that Britney Spears and husband Kevin Federline have split. Ms. Brtiney signaled a “tearful decision” to husband Kevin Federline, according to Us Weekly: “Get Out!” That magazine and American Media’s Star share similar cover lines on the details, which apparently involve canceling K-Fed’s credit cards and taking away his car. In Touch at least lends Mr. Federline a little initiative with the line “Kevin abandons Britney on her birthday.”

Time Inc.’s People tacks to the left on the Britney breakup, reporting that she and Mr. Federline have reunited after a “big fight.”

The tabs also follow family-building this week. How else could there be a juicy divorce down the line? Star and In Touch use the same cover photo of Brad Pitt holding the younger of Angelina Jolie’s adopted kids, whom he has now adopted, too. But only Star’s cover reveals: “NEW YEAR’S WEDDING ON!” People is only asking: “WILL HE & ANGELINA GET MARRIED?”

Finally, on Friday afternoon, Us Weekly’s Web site reported the “world exclusive” that Matt Damon married his girlfriend, proving again that stock prices and foreign entanglements aren’t the only subjects that demand round-the-clock coverage.

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