We get press releases. Do we ever. Many of them are given to hyperbole -- which is probably to be expected, because they are at heart promotional vehicles. But lately, in this data-crazy, programmatic- heavy business, a number of them are just plain headscratchers. They talk about things like transparency, but are so obfuscated by jargon that they are just plain incomprehensible.
Take, for example, one we got this week from Mediabrands. (Note to Mediabrands: We're not picking on you. We get releases from your competitors like this all the time.) The release, which defines Mediabrands as the global media arm of Interpublic Group, purports to be about a "global partnership with Acxiom to further strengthen the network's data and analytics capabilities."
So far so good. But then we get into murky territory. This is no ordinary partnership, we are told.
This alliance will allow "agencies across the IPG Mediabrands network to accelerate their people-based targeting approach, enabling application and discovery of insights on behalf of clients."
"The media network's partnership with Acxiom is IPG Mediabrands' largest analytics and data integration alliance to date, with 14 markets impacted across the globe, including Australia, Belgium, Canada, China, Denmark, France, India, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Netherlands, South Africa, United Kingdom and the United States."
Translation: It's global, whatever it is.
"The partnership is designed to bridge offline and online experiences, while spearheading a client-centric data approach that focuses on a complete and contextual view of the customer. This level of enhanced data and platform integration directly impacts the customer experience, driving brand engagement and ROI through cohesive and operationalized data, with advanced and cross-channel analytics."
Translation: It works both online and in stores. It allows the agencies to piece together behaviors of its targets (people, not cats) and develop a message tailored to them. And then, ideally, those people buy your stuff. Because as we have already established, unlike cats, they have cash.
As part of the partnership, the Data & Technology team, which develops and implements global product and technology solutions across the IPG network, will strengthen core capabilities on a global scale. This includes agency-driven analytics solutions, including UM's Business Analytics Engine (BAE) and Initiative's Accelerator.
Translation: We don't know what a BAE accelerator is. But he sounds cute.