'I'm Fully Intact': Jake Tapper Gets Rex Tillerson to Confirm His Non-Castration by Trump

By Published on .

In June, you may recall, short-lived White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci told The New Yorker's Ryan Lizza that "I'm not Steve Bannon, I'm not trying to suck my own cock," prompting much media speculation about what kind of relationship members of the Trump adminstration might or might not have with their own genitalia. On Sunday, Secretary of State Rex Tillerson added to the intrigue by telling CNN's Jake Tapper that he is at least passingly familiar with his own junk—and in fact recently checked on it to make sure it was all still there.

Tillerson, balls and all.
Tillerson, balls and all. Credit: CNN

On Sunday's "State of the Union" on CNN, Tapper quoted Senator Bob Corker, the Republican chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committtee, who told The Washington Post on Friday that President Trump had "castrated" Tillerson—i.e., undermined him. When Tapper said "What's your response to that?," Tillerson initially gave a sort of non-answer, until the CNN anchor pressed further: "You have a cattle ranch. You don't wanna say anything about the senator suggesting you've been gelded before the world? That's not anything that bothers you?" Tillerson simply smiled wanly and said "I checked. I'm fully intact."

It's come to this, folks: In the most memorable moment from the Sunday morning talk-show circuit in ages, a member of the Trump administration, humiliated and emasculated by POTUS, actually had to confirm to the media that his manhood is still complete—physically speaking, at least.

Disappointingly, though, Tapper failed to demand proof—even though the secretary of state, balls (presumably) and all, was sitting right there. You might say that Tapper dropped the ... oh, never mind.

Most Popular