The Movie Behind the Stunt That Paralyzed Boston

Freeloader Attends Cartoon Network's 'Aqua Teen Hunger Force' Premiere

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The Event: "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theatres" New York premiere
The Date: April 10, 2007
The Venue: Chelsea West Theater, New York
The Crowd: The vocal talent for the movie and a gaggle of giggling "Aqua Teen" fans
The Food: All attendees received a free soda-and-popcorn voucher, but for something more befitting of the movie's fast-food characters, you had to make it over to the after-party at Pop Burger in the Meatpacking District. Guests noshed on Meatwads (mini-burgers and hot dogs), Fry Guys (plates of french fries and onion rings that cleared rather quickly) and Master Shakes (chocolate or vanilla).
The Drinks: The more calorie-conscious could enjoy a limited selection of booze, including Hefeweizen, pinot grigio and a red wine, which Freeloader skipped in favor of a milkshake.

It seems like only yesterday we were watching the national news to check on the latest developments in the 'Aqua Teen' marketing-stunt-cum-national-security-scare in Boston.

Now you and your favorite Mooninites can see the movie with the unwieldy title.
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Now that it's April and the damage has been swept up (well, most of it anyway -- Cartoon Network still doesn't have a new president), it was about time Freeloader kicked back with some popcorn and watched a good ol' fashioned brainless comedy to make us long for our college days.

The deliberately unwieldy title, "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters," did not get in the way of Freeloader's enjoyment of the film's opening riff, one of the more hilarious movie spoofs Freeloader has seen in some time. Rather than send up a specific film or character, "Aqua Teen" chose the dancing refreshments from all those old-school movie-theater previews as its prime targets, and scored a bull's-eye. The dancing drinks and popcorn rattle of a list of movie-watching do's and don'ts that goes far beyond talking and turning off cellphones. Freeloader's fave: "This is a copyrighted movie for Time Warner. If I find you've sold it on eBay, I will break into your house and tear your wife in half."

The first 20 minutes or so of the actual movie maintain the same irreverent, absurdist brand of humor the TV series is known for. Since the Adult Swim episodes are only 15 minutes apiece, Freeloader had suspicions the film might lose steam after the half-hour mark. They were proven true right around the time a delayed "plot" about a workout machine called the Insanoflex kicked in. That didn't seem to bother the "Aqua Teen" die-hards, who cackled their approval every time a new character hit the screen.

In addition to the main trio of Meatwad, Fry Guy and Master Shake, there are the infamous Mooninites, the pixilated aliens who started the whole Boston brouhaha. The movie's cute but inept villains try unsuccessfully to steal a variety of household items, at one point staging a mission called "first-degree grand theft coffee table." Had Boston police officials seen scenes such as this before blowing the whistle on those Lite-Brites, Freeloader would've had a different viewing experience.

But since this is also the peak of the any-publicity-is-good-publicity age, we weren't the least bit surprised to hear the "Aqua Teen" movie has expanded its theater count to 800 for its release this weekend. Freeloader gives it a seven out of 10, but if you watch it in a state similar to that of those kids from the Boston press conference, it may register a 10 out of 10 on a scale of awesomeness.
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