The Kafka Questionnaire

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Is Casual Friday too casual lately?

Not until we get to where the Europeans are. They just don't show up.

What's the title and plot of the next hit reality TV show?

Scrappy group of ad execs sells out to holding company. I call it Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

How is a container of Pringles like the human condition?

Inside, we're all secretly constructed of dehydrated potato flakes.

Invent the most preposterous corporate name for a sports stadium.

Enron Field.

What's the worst package design of all time?

Men's Speedo.

What's the nastiest thing you ever said to a client?

"No, I like your headline. In fact, let's go with it."

Is the internet everything you were hoping it would be?

No. For some reason, I'm having trouble funding my dot-com.

Invent a new nickname for Sean Combs.


Is Tony the Tiger bi?

There are two guys inside that suit. Draw your own conclusions.

Have you ever reached for a star?

Not since the restraining order.

What would Ronald McDonald's name be if he had a sex change?

I dunno. But I bet he'd enjoy trying out the new McMuffin.

Why does every radio ad end with 20 seconds of speed-blabbered fine print?

Why do flowers bloom? Things of such beauty are not for us to question.

If you work on Altoids, does that mean you never have bad breath?

No. But my book stinks less.

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