The Kafka Questionnaire

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What's the nastiest thing you ever said to a client?

"I'm really hoping your creative will rise to the challenge."

What's the most idiotic music request you ever had from a client?

"You don't happen to have Elias' phone number, do you?"

What would be the name of the Jennifer Lopez signature feminine hygiene spray?


How many AEs can fit on the head of a pin?

I'll opt to avoid any obvious "pinhead" jokes here. AEs have had enough laughs at their expense - even if they do deserve them.

What's the next thing that needs to be microwaveable?

Account executives.

Invent the most preposterous corporate name for a sports stadium.

The Purina Arena.

What would be the song title if Eminem rapped about M&Ms?

"I've Got Your Blue One Right Here!"

What's the next big commercials music trend?

I think the music of the Scottish Highlands is due for a resurgence.

What instrument do you wish you could play?


Name a classic rock title that hasn't been pillaged yet and attach it to a product.

"Happiness is a Warm Gun," for Viagra.

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