The Kafka Questionnaire

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What would your name be if you were named after your first dog and the street you grew up on?

Kirby Pine.

What's Mr. Clean's real name?


What would be the name of the Jennifer Lopez signature feminine hygiene spray?


What needs to be microwaveable?


Would you stand on line for eight hours to see a George Lucas movie?

As a rule, I don't stand in any line that lasts longer than my buzz.

Has the '70s funk revival gone too far?

When the little yellow dot in the Wal-Mart commercials has an afro, that's when it's gone too far.

Come up with a slogan to save Arthur Andersen.

"Seriously, like we'd ever let that happen again?"

How many account executives can fit on the head of a pin?


Invent the most preposterous corporate name for a sports arena.

Tampax Stadium.

Invent a more impressive-sounding name for account planners.


What can current "movie star" Jeffrey Dahmer endorse in absentia?


Have you ever had a visit from the Maytag


Yes, but it was non-work related.

Wanna play the Kafka Questionnaire? All you need is a sense of humor and a face. Not only is it free, it's easy: we supply the questions, you supply the answers. So write Terry Kattleman at [email protected] today! Young and personable e-mail gatherers are standing by!

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