The Kafka Questionnaire

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How should Phil Dusenberry keep himself busy during his retirement?

Move to Florida and bet at the dog tracks.

Who would you like to see on a Wheaties box?

The Justice League.

John Ashcroft: Boxers or briefs?

Briefs from International Male

Would you let your daughter date Bob Dole?

Hell, no!

Have you ever done anything unusual with Jell-O?

I made a killer ambrosia salad once.

What goes best with cherry Kool-Aid?

Pringles Reduced Fat.

What ever happened to the woman who said, "I've fallen and I can't get up."?

She's on an island hanging out with Bob Marley.

What would you call an alcoholic malt beverage made with milk?

Funky Cold Medina.

Are you thinking about buying a plasma TV?

I have to get a few more directing jobs first.

Who'd win a fight between Col. Sanders and Frank Perdue?

Frank Perdue. Not many people know he was once a CIA operative.

What's Mr. Whipple's first name?


What would your name be if you were named after your first dog and the street you grew up on?

Muffin Pall Mall.

Is Joe Pytka overrated?


Do you get a thrill out of yelling "Cut!"?

Let's see. "Cut!" Hmm. No, nothing.

Wanna play the Kafka Questionnaire? All you need is a sense of humor and a face. Not only is it free, it's easy: we supply the questions, you supply the answers - and a picture of yourself, and make it at least as good as the one on your driver's license. So write Terry Kattleman at [email protected] today! Young and personable e-mail gatherers are standing by!

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