Chevey styles its fleet after one long sunk; who's next to tout vincibility? GLUB, GLUB BETTER WAYS TO SPEND AD $$

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Contest #426: "History will teach us nothing," as the saying goes, and living proof must exist in the form of a copywriter at Lintas Campbell Ewald, Warren, Mich., agency for General Motors' Chevrolet nameplate.

A recent print ad compares a line of Chevrolet vehicles to the Spanish Armada, with the tagline, "Not since the Spanish Armada has a fleet been so respected." Uhhh ... didn't the Spanish Armada go down in flames against the British navy some several hundred years ago? An interesting metaphor indeed, but one that has given us an idea. T.N.T.ers: Come up with the next marketer to use a dubious historical event as an advertising hook.

And now the results of Contest #422: we asked you for the next irritant marketing campaign and you bugged us with:

First Prize: Taster's Choice uses America's most irritating couple, Tom and Roseanne Arnold, in a continuation of the Taster's Choice couples campaign: Tom enters the kitchen one morning, smelling coffee. "What smells so good?" "Taster's Choice," growls Roseanne. "And it tastes as good as it smells, if it's any of your damn business." "God, you're so abusive," Tom says. Roseanne replies by throwing coffee in his face. Tom licks his lips and smiles, "Mmmm, you're right. It does taste as good as it smells." "Eat sushi and die," Roseanne retorts. Bob Canning, senior copywriter, Buena Vista Home Video, Burbank, Calif.

Second Prize: Barney the Dinosaur for Trojan condoms: "I love you, you love me/ Let's just take it easily/ With a ribbed one here and a smooth one there/ Trojan Condoms show you care." Jack Huber, proofreader, Kingswood Advertising, Ardmore, Pa.

Third Prize: Turtle Wax introduces a scratch resistant car wax in an ad that depicts a flock of bitchy rich housewives using their diamond rings to scratch up the car body, producing a sound resembling fingernails dragged across a chalkboard. Jim Sabo, owner, Brose Productions, Tarrytown, N.Y.

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