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Imagine my excitement upon being informed that having a life is not a requirement for writing this column. Here, then, is my guide to achieving entertainment nirvana.

Governor Jesse Ventura's mansion, 1006 Summit Ave, St. Paul (651-296-3391). I understand you can arrange for a tour, but I find it far more interesting to sneak in after hours to sit in the Governor's chair. However, be advised that our new governor is packing heat and is hoping to launch his presidential bid with an impressive display of vigilante justice.

The Mall of America, 60 East Broadway, Bloomington (883-8800). While it is not true that the Great Wall of China is visible from outer space, the Megamall is indeed visible from the Crab Nebula. But out of the mall's hundreds of stores the only one I really find useful sells nothing but refrigerator magnets.

Aquavit, 80 S. 8th St. (IDS Crystal Court), Minneapolis (343-3333). I am required by law to include a trendy restaurant here. Recommending Aquavit will make me look hip and, as the kids say these days, "groovy."

The Children's Museum, 10 West 7th St., St. Paul (651-225-6000). Strangely, this place seems to attract a disproportionate number of extremely short people with limited vocabularies. The beauty of this is that it's easy to cut in line - who's going to push you around, some midget? Here you can do things like dress up in an ant costume and climb around in tunnels. Despite my loud and frequent protestations, however, there are still very few large-sized ant costumes to go around, so you may want to bring your own.

Any lake in January. People sit in houses on lakes and cut holes in the ice to fish. I'm not making this up. We're a bunch of freaks.

Sister Fun, 121 N. 4th St., Minneapolis (672-0263). I figured I should include one recommendation that was actually of some use. This store sells all the stuff found in those ads on the back of comic books: disappearing ink, fake barf, X-ray glasses, exploding cigars, onion gum.

Doug Adkins is creative director at Hunt Adkins in Minneapolis.


1 New York The School of Visual Arts presents an exhibition of contemporary photography entitled 'Mentors.' At the Beck-Odette Gallery, 601 West 26th Street. 212-592-2010; Continues through May 1.

12-23 New York The School of Visual Arts present an exhibition of work by seniors in the Advertising and Graphic Design department. At the Art Directors Club, 250 Park Avenue South West 26th Street. 212-592-2010;

21 New York Advertising Women of New York sponsor the "Best of New York" 1999 ADDY Awards. At Bridgewaters near South Street Seaport. Tickets and information 212-593-1950

21-24 Amelia Island, Florida Presentation of the American Association of Advertising Agencies O'Toole Awards. At the Ritz-Carlton. Information: Cathay Brackman, 212-850-0721

29 New York The Advertising Club of New York hosts the International ANDY awards. Pre-show cocktails and post-show party at Laura Belle, 120 West 43rd Street; Awards show at the Town Hall Theater, 123 West 43rd Street. Reservations 212-533-1570;


1 Portland, Oregon Plazm Video Magazine's deadline for their call for submissions. Send VHS of short documentaries, archival footage, video art, abstract films, and "boring, self-indulgent experimental films" to Plazm Video, Jon Raymond, PO Box 2863, Portland, OR 97208-2863; 503-222-6389 X104

3-5SanFrancisco @d:tech. San Franciso's awards ceremony. At the Hyatt Embarcadero.

5 London D&AD Awards ceremony. At Olympia exhibition hall. 011/44/171-840-1111;

6New York The One Show at Alice Tully Hall, Lincoln Center. Cocktails: 6:00-8:00; Show: 8:00-10:00. 212-979-1900; [email protected];

10-13 Santa Clara 3D Design & Animation Conference & Exposition. At the Santa Clara Convention Center, 5001 Great American Parkway, Santa Clara, CA 95054.

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