And now for the results of Contest #448: we asked for the next down-on-their-luck celeb to move into outcast haven Trump Tower:
First Prize: Ed Koch. Decor: 1960s bachelor pad, with dramatic, sweeping, but jaundiced view of New York. Mirror over waterbed inscribed with "How'm I doing?" Comes with cardiac resuscitation cart and nosh bar. Housewarming party: "Munsters" theme party with host as Grampa, Bess Meyerson as Lillian. Phil Frankenfeld, writer, Milwaukee.
Second Prize: Tonya Harding. Bodyguards and ex-husband help move her in by backing her 4X4 truck up to the front lobby doors. Decor: Imitation Louis Vuitton slipcovers and accessories by The Club. Housewarming party: Ice skating with neighbors Michael Jackson and Lady Di. Ron Zarantenello, account exec, GSP Marketing, Chicago.
Third Prize: Demonstrating his sense of the ironic, Donald Trump offers Michael Bolton a rent-free, high tech, state-of-the-art suite but actually just puts up new curtains in Lionel Ritchie's old place. Jack Huber, proofreader, Kingswood Advertising, Ardmore, Pa.