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Contest #459: "Morally condemnable, legally untenable and economically extremely damaging."

No, not another reader irate over our Billy Graham contest a couple weeks ago. This is from a spokesman for a German ad agency association, attacking those controversial European Benetton ads, like the one featuring a man dying of AIDS or a soldier's blood-soaked uniform. What we wanna know is: How come Europe gets all the cool stuff? We want some outrage! So, T.N.T.ers: come up with the next morally condemnable, legally untenable and economically extremely damaging ad campaign.

Defending O.J.

And now for the results of Contest #455: We asked you for O.J. Simpson's next marketing effort to pay for his defense:

First Prize: O.J. will team with Sega for a new videogame: "O.J.: The Longest Yard." It will feature seven exciting stages. Stage 1: Hand-to-hand knife fighting; Stage 2: The security gate pole vault; Stage 3: The back alley sprint; Stage 4: The freeway chase; Stage 5: The camera and microphone dodge; Stage 6: Prison cell block survival combat; and finally, Stage 7, in which players must best the demonic goblin Marsha Clark in a fight monitored by Judge Ito. Joel Lee Thames, media information assistant, Longshore Media Development Group, Montgomery, Ala.

Second Prize: O.J. publishes two new books about the art of jailhouse cuisine. "Jailhouse Wok" includes 32 recipes for Chinese on a jailhouse budget, while "O.J.'s Guide to Inmate Fashion and Cuisine," available in 32 languages and marketed to inmates worldwide, includes recipes for Attica Almandine and San Quentin Quiche. Rob Bruska and friends, students, Muskegon Community College, Muskegon, Mich.; and Tim Elliott, marketing manager, Palace Bingo & Casino, Bemidji, Minn.

Third Prize: O.J. licenses Did He 7 stain cleaner! So effective it removes DNA, footprints, blood, even those nasty prison toilet bowl stains. It will be promoted through an informercial starring Ron Popeil, with an I-wish-I-had-that-at-the-time testimonial from Mr. Simpson. "Did He 7-Truly a stain cleaner you'll die for." Trish Linardakis and Jill Scherrer, copywriters, Geraghty & Roman, East Brunswick, N.J.

Entries for Contest #459 must be sent by Feb. 27. Send entries to T.N.T. Contest #459, Advertising Age, 6500 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 2300, Los Angeles, Calif. 90048, or fax them to (213) 655-8157. Please include, legibly, your name, title, company, address and daytime phone number on the sheet with your entry. Users of the online Prodigy service can file T.N.T. entries to Ad Age through the Prodigy Bulletin Board. Top three winners win T.N.T.-shirts. Entries become property of Ad Age and cannot be returned.

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