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All that glitters ...

Contest #458: Listen. Hear the hum in Hollywood.

Shutterbugs are buying new bulbs. Diamonds are being purchased and rented by the most famous fingers and necks in the world. Sweatshops are working overtime to style one-of-a-kind garments that will be worn only one time, then destroyed, discarded or even donated to fashion-impaired friends.

The glint of faux gold! The disingenuous speeches! And, oh, Lord! The cleavage! It's award season again in Hollywood!

And, of course, this year's Oscars, Grammys and American Music Awards promises to be as dull as ever. So T.N.T.ers: come up with the next effort to pump some life into Hollywood's award shows.

Reiser to the occasion

And now for the results of Contest #454: We asked you for the next ad campaign to utilize comedian/IBM pitchman Paul Reiser's headless body. We thought it only appropriate that execs at a computer rival should win:

First Prize: Jack-in-the-Box is making the most of Mr. Reiser's spare parts. To bring back Jack in the fast-food chain's new commercials, it had to find an available body to hold up that big ol' clown head. "It was the clown's idea and the rest of me needed work," explained Mr. Reiser's navel. Susan Thomas and Pam Thome, ad executives, Compaq Computer Corp., Houston.

Second Prize: Paul's body pitches for 7-Eleven. In a spot, he stands outside a 7-Eleven store, looking dejected (sagging shoulders), as the young hip crowd around him sucking down cold Slurpees comes dangerously close to "brain freeze." "Be careful," Mr. Reiser's navel warns. "A mind is a terrible thing to waste." Joe Parzych, account exec, Creative Advertising, St. Joseph, Mich.

Third Prize: Paul's body is enlisted to head up Sy Sperling's new venture, the Head Club for Men. Satisfied members include John the Baptist. "I'm not just the president," says Mr. Reiser's navel in ads, "I'm also a client." Kelly Nuss, ad assistant, Halton Co., Los Angeles.

Entries for Contest #458 must be sent by Feb. 20. Send entries to T.N.T. Contest #458, Advertising Age, 6500 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 2300, Los Angeles, Calif. 90048, or fax them to (213) 655-8157. Please include, legibly, your name, title, company, address and daytime phone number on the sheet with your entry. Users of the online Prodigy service can file T.N.T. entries to Ad Age through the Prodigy Bulletin Board. Top three winners win T.N.T.-shirts. Entries become property of Ad Age and cannot be returned.

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