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gentlemen, shoot your engines How do

you sell Speedvision TV, a new cable channel devoted to absolutely nothing but cars, boats, planes and motorcycles? With a maniac cop, compliments of a campaign from Mullen Advertising, directed by Scott Burns of Tool of North America. Specifically, a lunatic motorcycle cop who stops all Gremlin owners simply because their cars are so damn ugly, and is compelled to throw their keys away. He also stops a Ferrari driver who was going a pathetic 72 mph, and he's forced to fire his weapon at the sight of a vintage Corvette with a tear on the front seat.

Hey, what's so weird about that? "It's The Testosterone Channel," says copywriter Jim Garaventi. "It's a hardcore, gearhead audience." (The channel in fact is headed by Roger Werner, former president of hairy-handed ESPN. See the Speedvision Web site, www.speedvision.com for the big fast-lane picture.) Any trouble from the Policeman's Benevolent Association? "We haven't heard anything," Garaventi insists. "The cops at the shoot who closed off the road loved it. They had far worse stories to tell us." No problem with the client, either. "They wanted it to be out there, and it is," Garaventi adds. Additional agency credits to CD Paul Silverman and art director Greg Bokor, editing by Chan Hatcher at Quisinart, Los Angeles, music by Tomandandy, New York.

polly want a dead cat The meek don't inherit the earth in this Hitchcock-eyed spot, directed by Joe Pytka for BBDO/New York and DuPont Stainmaster, but they cause quite a stir nonetheless. Flame artist Johnnie Semerad of Quiet Man, New York, brought enormous personality to what senior creative director/ copywriter Bill Bruce calls, "some pretty boring pets." Swinging from the ceiling of a creepy Victorian parlor room is a caged parrot who throws its voice to sound just like a little old lady and entices the house cat to come closer. Once it does, the talented parrot's sudden barking sends the cat ricocheting off walls and knocking over everything in its way. The voiceover promises, "Nothing has more lives than a DuPont Stainmaster carpet." Additional agency credits to executive creative director Michael Patti and art director Doris Kassar.

fuji hed Inspired by, and incorporating the work of comic book illustrators, these no-brainers from Angotti Thomas Hedge, New York, for Fuji audiocassettes target the 15-24 crowd. Other ads feature a road-flattened snake ("No hiss") and a Venus Flytrapped butterfly ("No flutter.") Animal rights activists: please note that no harm was done to any living creature in the execution of these advertisements. Credits to art director Dan Cohen, copywriter Nick Sustana, executive creative director Rochelle Klein and artists David O'Keefe, Eric White and Sam Keith (of The Maxx fame).

Don't eat the brown snow: "Lifestyle remorse" is how FJC&N, Salt Lake City, copywriter David Morring classifies the sentiment behind a new print campaign for the Jackson Hole ski resort. "It makes you rethink your priorities in life," he says. Other headlines: "College degree. Good job. Big House. We all make mistakes," and, "It's not nearly as scary as saying 'I do'*" under a contorted snow boarder. Additional credits to creative director Dave Newbold, art director Richard Oliver and photographers Tyler Gourley, Bob Woodall and Wade McCoy.

The Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum in New York is holding its Mixing Messages: Graphic Design in Contemporary Culture exhibit through Feb. 16, 1997. The exhibit celebrates the diverse methods and mediums through which information is passed in contemporary art. Mixing Messages can also be found on the Web at: http://mixing messages.si.edu and www.si.edu/ndm.

Above is an exhibition sample from the Burton snowboards catalog, designed by David Covell and Keith Brown for Burlington, Vt.'s Jager Di Paola Kemp.

The creatives at PSK, Boston (formerly Pagano Schenck & Kay) insist that Al Bundy did not write this two-sided trade mailer for Dexter shoes. Atop a catalog-style array of the shoes, the other side reads, "The Beat Street Collection. So sales won't make you hurl, only phat."

Credits to creative director Woody Kay, copywriter Dylan Lee and art director

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