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Pill Popper's Paradise

Quokka Sports is a digital sports entertainment company that "is seeking to change the way people experience sports through Quokka Sports Immersion, which uses live video and audio, still images, e-mail diaries from the competitors and more to capture the drama and excitement of sporting events."

Hence, a new Web site that offers live coverage of adventure sports, sailing and motor racing. Creative director Jeff Bitsack at Lee Hunt & Associates, New York, took the idea that a visit to is "as if you had sports injected directly into your system," and went with it in a campaign themed "A digital dose of sports." The result is mock-pharmaceutical advertising that's better than a dose of Prozac. In one spot that starts out looking like a feminine hygiene ad, two women discuss how the "freakin' intense sports" of can cure a case of the blahs. The campaign also answers commonly asked questions, such as: "Can I expect any adverse reactions?" The answer: "Quokka Sports coverage is so intensely engaging that users may experience adverse reactions caused by their prolonged exposure to the site. The most common adverse reactions include 'If I catch you on that site again, you're fired!'; 'When was the last time you showered?'; and 'You reek.' "

Drug-parody TV spots feature promises of "More anxiety," "More insomnia" and "Less bladder control."

Client: Quokka Sports Agency: Lee Hunt & Associates, New York CD: Jeff Bitsack AD: Tom Gianfagna CW: Karl Cluck Director: David Shane, Hungry Man Producers: Jane Friesen, Joanne Diglio Editor: Gavin Cutler, MacKenzie Cutler

VW + turbo = great chemistry

This spot from Arnold for the turbo-equipped New Beetle puts a seductively scientific spin on the usual pared-down Bug ad style. Overlapping voiceovers in different languages announce the discovery of a new element, Turbonium; then three lime green Beetle 1.8 Turbos start rotating in the form of an atom and then, well, it's just da bomb, complete with killer sound.

Client: Volkswagen Agency: Arnold, Boston CCO: Ron Lawner EVP/CDS: Lance Jensen & Alan Pafenbach AD: Will Uronis Director: Nick Lewin, X-1 Films Executive Producers: Keith Denzen, Arnold & Cami Taylor, X-1 Producer: Tina Nakane Editor: Bill Denehy, Manhattan Transfer Post/Effects: Manhattan Transfer Music: Ben Neill Audio: Blast Digital Audio

Shtick shift

Bartle Bogle Hegarty/New York offers five manly moments in a new campaign for ESPN's Nascar coverage. We hear the sounds of a steady stream of liquid that seems to keep going and going; the camera pans over the backs of a bunch of guys in racing uniforms. "Long race, huh?" one asks. In "Taste Test," we see a driver comparing the color, texture and body of a liquid in a wine glass. He takes a sip and then nods to the guy at the pump to fill up the tank. It's gas. The tag: "It's about men. It's about cars."

Client: ESPN Agency: Bartle Bogle Hegarty/New York CD: Ty Montague AD: KP Anderson CW: Stephanie Crippen Director: Tom Schiller, Five Union Square Productions Producer: Bruce Wellington Editor: Tom Scherma, Consulate LTD

Talk is cheap

Aerial Communications gives you the first minute of every call free with its cell phone package, which may not sound like much. But in a funny new spot directed by Jeff Gorman, via Goldberg Moser O'Neill, a minute turns out to be plenty of time for a pair of married auctioneers. They decide what to have for dinner and plan the rest of their evening -- all spoken in perfectly enunciated triple-time, as if they were selling livestock.

Client: Aerial Communications Agency: Goldberg Moser O'Neill, San Francisco ECD: Brian O'Neill ACD/CW: David Woodside AD: Tim Hannel Director: Jeff Gorman, JGF Producers: Kimberly Grear, Goldberg Moser O'Neill & Gayleen Sharon, JGF Editor: Jean Kawahara, Bob & Sheila's Edit

Wrong buttons, dude

Here's a guy who would rather score with his Nintendo 64 than with his girlfriend. Hey, abstinence can be fun after all. On the other hand, when the Sega Dream-cast comes out, this fella won't even be dating.

Client: Nintendo Agency: Ayriss Inc., Seattle CD/AD: David Ayriss CW: John Schofield Photographer: Randy Allbritton

Plan 9 from Portland

In tacky Ed Wood movie-style, an asteroid is shown hurtling toward the Earth. The end is near -- panic ensues, people are hoarding money and having sex. Skinny chicks are even raiding bakeries. But fear not: as the asteroid is about to collide with us, Ken Griffey Jr. swings at the big rock and sends it flying back into space where it lodges in the moon. Damn, those thin girls have a lot of purging to do.

Client: Nike Agency: Wieden & Kennedy, Portland AD: Tim Hanrahan CW: Jimmy Smit Producers: Ben Grylewicz & Cherie L. Appleby Director: Traktor, Partizan Editor: Rob Watzke, Red Car Effects: Craig Price, Click 3X

Jack thinks outside the box

A Chihuahua walks along a street and lets loose with the familiar, "Yo quiero Taco Bell." "Yeah, so? You're a dog," scoffs a Jack-in-the-Box face on a car antenna. "It's not like dogs are picky. Tell your owner about the new Sourdough Jack." Dick Sittig and his alter ego, Jack, are back in a hilarious new campaign (also directed by Sittig) for the fast food chain. In "Focus Group," Jack sits behind the two-way mirror and watches as a bunch of ordinary guys are quizzed on the new Ultimate Cheeseburger. It seems they love the meat and cheese, but could do without the bun. "Without the bun, your hands would be covered in meat and cheese!" Jack yells, bursting into the room. Murmurings of "So?" and "OK" fill the room. Calming down, Jack says, "All right, we'll work on that."

Client: Jack in the Box Agency: Kowloon Wholesale Seafood Co., Santa Monica CD/AD/CW/Director: Dick Sittig, Kowloon and Producers: Nancy Koch, Kowloon; Frank Scherma & Greg Schultz, Editor: Brendan O'Carroll, Oasis Music: Wojahn Brothers Sound: Machinehead

FX: Sight Effects

Adidas gets 'em while they're young

It's 1974 and a young German mother is vacuuming while her daughter sits in the crib. Mom comes across a ball on the floor, and thinking to amuse her little girl, she tosses it to her. "Nein!" the cute pig-tailed tyke bellows, slamming the ball away. Mummy looks shaken, but tosses it again, and again it is punched with a violent shriek as the little girl stalks back and forth across the crib. The title cards flash, "Silke Rottenberg today . . ." as we see the grown-up soccer goalie rejecting anything that comes near her net. Tag: "There from the start. Adidas." Three other equally clever spots focus on the early lives of Women's World Cup athletes, with players who kick in the womb, play catch sans hands and run at the age of one.

Client: Adidas Agency: Leagas Delaney, San Francisco CDS: Harry Cocciolo & Sean Ehringer

AD: Chris Toland CW: Steve Morris Director: Noam Murrow, HKM Producer: Annie Uzdavinis Editor: Rick Lobo, Green Music/Sound: Machine Head

The quick and the bed

Sometimes fast is good. Sometimes not. Take Speedy Gonzales over on the right. He can't help himself, because he works for bicycle maker GT, whose motto is, "Fast. It's corporate policy." Other executions include a pair of staffers who have inadvertently knocked each other out running around a blind corner in the office; and a row of traffic cops writing speeding tickets to sheepish-looking GT employees in the corporate parking lot.

Client: GT Bicycles Agency: Crispin Porter & Bogusky, Miami CD: Alex Bogusky AD: Markham Cronin CW: Ari Merkin Photographer: Ken Anderson

"Few papers come with a natural tendency to stimulate the creative appetite," opens the copy in a new paper promotion for Chesapeake, Va.'s Yupo Corp. The beautiful promotional kit, designed by SVP Partners, Wilton, Conn., is entitled "Have Lunch On Us," and features comically illustrated place mats. Shown here are "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner," by Henrik Drescher; "Frank & Beans," by

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