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How many creatives can you fit in a VW Beetle?

Two. With a planner in the back seat telling them both where to go.

Paul Hogan and Jocko, the has-been Duracell lunatic, fight an Australian ad endorser Celebrity Death Match. Who wins?

Well, they replaced Jocko with a family of plastic dolls, so I'd have to go with Hogan.

Is European advertising better than American advertising?

Yar. Ebsolutely.

Who would you like to see in a Milk Mustache ad?

Salman Rushdie or Tinky Winky. Or both.

How do you really speak Australian?

To Americans? Very slowly.

What is your dream client?

Procter & Gamble (media only).

What is your least favorite jingle?

"Buy Mennen."

Can you tell the difference between Coke or Pepsi in a taste test?

I don't drink non-alcoholic beverages, as a rule.

Describe your perfect oasis.

A place where I could live well, be pampered and feel perfectly at ease doing nothing. Say, the Interpublic Group of Companies.

Australian-born Paul Bernasconi is creative director at Oasis Advertising, New

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