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As if the airplane glue epidemic wasn't already bad enough: In the new Long John Silver's campaign, there's this talking bag on a park bench that actually coaxes a kid to stick his head into the bag and sniff. Hey, kid. This is your head. This is your head on crunchy fish. Any questions? (page 3)

The latest wave of the ABC campaign actually includes stickers on bananas. "Another fine use of yellow," eh? Two can play at that game. CBS responded immediately with a fine use of purple: "Murder, She Wrote" prune decals. (page 8)

And you were wondering why they call it the 13th grade? Orlando's Fry Hammond Barr sells Valencia Community College by having a prospective student get a Valencia tattoo with a little brain on it. Don't worry, dude, if you can't hack

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