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Would you put this guy (Fig.1) on a shingle? Miami's Crispin & Porter has been renamed Crispin Porter & Bogusky, to accommodate CD Alex Bogusky, seen here on the April '95 Creativity cover. Apparently, this wasn't enough recognition for him. Last month in the paper we noticed some sunny consumer reporting on import car sales as compared to a year earlier: Nissan, up 2.6 percent; Mitsubishi, up 18.5; Subaru up 15.8; Volvo, up 5.4; Suzuki, up 70.6; Kia, up 44.3; Land Rover, up 60.3; and Isuzu, down 21.1. Why does the import car company with arguably the best agency have indisputably the worst sales? It's practically amazing. Scraping foetus off the reel: New York-based Cosimo Cavallaro is not only a commercials director at Emerald Films, he's a fine-artist who specializes in constructions that represent the birth experience. In fact, his Birth series (Fig. 2) is on display in his downtown loft right now as part of the Soho Arts Festival. "A pendulum swings between extremes," says Cavallaro of his art. "The struggle between need and desire; the known and the unknown; the warm security of the womb and the chill uncertainty of the world." After Birth, he began a series of large-scale tubular steel umbilical cords; twisted into massive gnarled groupings, the Cords contrast an "impenetrable shell, created to protect feelings,

with the soft knot of emotions just beneath its surface." They're like giant outies! Belated birthday/anniversary greetings to our favorite

meat merchant, Lupo the Butcher (Fig. 3), of Converse fame. A press release from a typically overanimated Danny Antonucci, A.K.A. Cartoon founder and Lupo creator, informed us of Lupo's birth in September 1986, and filled us in on some little-known biographical details of the Lupester. Of particular note: Lupo had "a two-year love affair with the Guns 'n' Roses 'Get in the Ring, Motherfucker' world tour. He closed each show for the band." Thanks, Danny, we had no idea. We bet he got along great with Slash. Make the scene with a magnum zine: From Feral House, Portland, Ore. (www.buzzcut.com/central/feralhouse), it's Volume 1 in the new Popcult series, Rollerderby: The Book. Yes, the collected first 16 issues of Rollerderby, the acclaimed grrrlie zine from Lisa "Suckdog" Carver, a former coprophiliac performance artist and one of the Utne Reader's Visionary 100 (she appeared right before Noam Chomsky, who as far as we know has never juggled with poop). Today vomit, tomorrow the turd. United Airlines, Molson, the Eels (Figs. 4, 5, 6), Taco Bell's Monster Eye straw, the list is endless . . . Despite our cover story on the orb-expanding Butch Belair a few months back, we are taking no credit for the big-eye ad explosion. Since Marty Feldman is dead, it must be the dreaded Alex Bogusky syndrome. Just spew it: First there was the guy who puked in stride in the Tony Kaye commercial. Then there was the "Who the hell does Nike think they are" insert with the marathon runner puking on his shoes (Fig 7). Now there's "Repels snow, sleet and vomit" for a Nike Apparel snowboarding jacket (Fig. 8). Now we know what the swoosh sound is. Last month in Creativity, Fallon's Luke Sullivan wrote a Viewpoint about how "the letter poured in"-when even a speck of screwy public dissent will kill an ad dead. And last month in the real world it happened twice to Goodby Silverstein & Partners. A Sharper Image print ad featuring a Peeping Tom using a nightscope had the shades drawn on it by some irate phone calls. "It is rather obvious that it is a joke," said Rich Silverstein in The New York Times. "I have to just shake my head." Then a funny Haggar spot, in which a guy rushes back into his burning house to rescue his pants (Fig.9), not his parrot, was hosed down by protesting firemen. It allegedly encouraged people to enter burning buildings. "I'm very disappointed," says Stiefel & Co.'s Peter Darley Miller, who directed. "The spot was supposed to be on the World Series. There's a double standard between TV and commercials, and we in commercials get hammered for it." Never mind the fire; in Miller's nastier director's cut the bird is presumed dead, while in the short-lived air version the bird pointedly lives. While Miller doesn't own a parrot, "I am an animal lover," he says. "But I've about maxed my 18-year-old cat, and if my house was on fire I might go for the pants." Kinka Usher is so Poe-lific these days he's opened his own one-director production company, The House of Usher. We got the inside scoop on the names of some of the spots he's got lined up: "Hop-Frog" for Bud; "The Black Cat" for Tender Vittles; and "The Pit and the Pendulum" for Dry Idea. He turned down "The Telltale Heart" for Hallmark; it was too violent. Press Release Headline of the Month, from Stiegler Wells & Brunswick, a little full-service shop in Pennsylvania: "Nazareth National Bank

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