'Stuff' parties with emissaries from North Pole

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If we told you that the biggest stars at Stuff's Toys for Bigger Boys party at New York City's Hammerstein Ballroom were a mother-daughter team named Starbright and Noelle, you might jump to the wrong conclusion-especially considering the helpers Santa brought along to the shindig. But Starbright and Noelle are not scantily clad pole-climbers. They're reindeer. And while the paparazzi might have gone nuts when former "American Idol" contestant and current "Dreamgirls" star Jennifer Hudson arrived, partygoers found the animals much more fascinating. So fascinating, in fact, that the reindeer's handlers had to keep the crowd from feeding them hors d'oeuvres. (Cue the irate letter from PETA!) When they weren't trying to toss Snausages into the reindeer hay, those in attendance were treated to a live performance by treadmill dancers OK Go. Also on hand for the Casio-sponsored event were Adrian Grenier, Damien Fahey and "Rescue Me's" Dean Winters.

San Francisco residents a bunch of cookie-hating commies

The city of San Francisco has once again proved it should just detach itself from the rest of the U.S. and go find a pinko-commie country to be part of. Why? Apparently, they hate advertising, milk and chocolate-chip cookies, a snack five times as American as apple pie (and better-tasting to boot).

As part of its "Got Milk?" campaign, the California Milk Processor Board had placed ads in five downtown bus shelters that gave off the delicious scent of cookies. The hope, of course, was to plant a crumb of desire that would drive people home to have cookies and milk.

But apparently drugs and sex are the only kinds of public fun allowed in San Francisco. The Metropolitan Transit Commission ordered the scent strips removed after special interest groups (we have a pretty strong suspicion of what "special" means in this particular case) whined about the ads.

Who was offended? Groups representing the homeless, the obese, diabetics and citizens who just don't like scents.

According to Molly Ireland, a milk-board spokeswoman, some said the campaign "was cruel to the homeless because they have no food."

"This is such a San Francisco story," said Jeff Goodby, co-chairman, Goodby, Silverstein & Partners, the milk board's ad agency. "It could have gone either way: We celebrate the hippie nostalgia of cookies in the oven, or we excoriate the possible effects on select health minorities. It's 2006. We went the latter way," he wrote in an e-mail, adding: "I guess the city has once again made herself safe for bus shelters that smell like urine and vomit instead."

Ms. Ireland said the board isn't giving up on using the nose for marketing, and is considering moving the campaign to another city.

Magazine fears vengeful ghost of L. Ron Hubbard

It seems that Entertainment Weekly is also afraid to offend certain groups, namely Scientologists and women who have silicone implants. Cloudveil Mountain Works, looking to introduce its skiwear line to entertainment-industry types, submitted two ads, designed by TDA Advertising & Design, for the Dec. 18 issue of the magazine. One ad shows a sign that reads "Silicone implants begin to freeze at approximately -10 Fahrenheit" and accompanying copy that states: "We'd like to remind Hollywood types to dress accordingly." The other ad has a couple of lines of copy that read: "We wanted celebrities visiting ski towns to know about us. It was either run an ad in this magazine, or become Scientologists."

EW refused to run the ads. "We didn't find it appropriate," said a spokeswoman, who said EW readers might resent the implication that all Hollywood types are fake-boob sporting Scientologists (our phrasing, not hers). Hey, if the charge-blocking D-cup bra fits. But seriously, the ads didn't seem that offensive to us. And Scientologists typically don't send bombs when you mock them (though that could explain Tom Cruise and "Mission: Impossible 3").

The magazine, which reviews all ads, did accept one from Cloudveil. The approved ad makes a joke about wearing fur during bear-mating season. No bears could be reached for comment.

Contributing: Alice Cuneo Send Marxist literature to [email protected]
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