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Lower the Lifeboats?
How about a long-copy ad that features a novelist — Jonathan Lowy is the author of The Temple of Music and Elvis and Nixon — taking a cruise in heavily commercial waters? And it's a series! But let's deal with this ad and this ad only. Did you read all this text? If not, please say so in your comment. And how about the picture page? Did you read all the captions? In any case, rate the ad on a six-degree taste scale of excellence on the Sweet Meter, with 5 being the top score: 5 Very Sweet, 4 Sweet, 3 Semi-Dry, 2 Dry, 1 Extra Dry, 0 Sour. And feel free to offer your comments on the prose, the art direction, the photography, the typography, the concept, whatever. Click here to play.

Instant Gratification
Last week's Rate the Ad. Skyy gets its two olives up on the Sweet Meter, pulling a respectable 56/44 Good/Bad ratio — comparing the top half of the meter to the bottom half — with a very healthy 41% in the Sweet Zone. But there's a serious hottie factor in play here, obviously, which tends to inflate the numbers. Nevertheless, this ad has a lot more going for it than a model — chiefly, a slew of Memento-like Polaroids that invite close study and plenty of SX-70 jokes, as they suggest any number of sometimes baffling party possibilities. Not to mention the half-filled bottle of vodka, which was noted by a surprising number of pollees, all of whom assumed the worst. Or the best, depending on how you look at it. Anyway, here are the results.

5 Very Sweet 19%
4 Sweet 22%
3 Semi-Dry 15%
2 Dry 13%
1 Extra Dry 16%
0 Sour 15%

And here are some of our fave responses.

1 Drinking half a bottle of Skyy makes you a pretty inept photographer.

5 Tastefully seductive.

0 I just hate that new pointy-shoe style that's all the rage these days. Hurts to look at it.

4 Sorry, Ketel One drinker, I'm going with the hot chick.

0 Come on, Skyy, just use a naked model already and get it over with. Without the bottle of Skyy, it could be an ad for anything.

4 I like the way the blue Skyy bottle stands out against the very appealing and naughty background. This ad is fun.

0 My mother was right! This is what happens when you drink half a bottle of vodka.

4 It certainly captured my attention, although I stared at it for 15 minutes trying to figure out what the pictures were, before I noticed the bottle.

0 Looks like a PG-13 version of Svedka.

5 If you're targeting the soft-porn Maxim male, it doesn't get much better than this.

0 The bottle and Polaroids look as if they were digitally added. Nothing fits.

4 The Polaroid shots are hot. I think I saw some nipple. Any ad with nipple is a good thing.

2 Am I supposed to think about taking advantage of a woman who's gone through half a bottle of vodka? Besides, she just wasted like $80 worth of Polaroid film.

1 How is she taking a picture of that guy? He must be hanging from the ceiling. Kinky, but it doesn't make me want to drink vodka.

5 The fact that the model is taking my picture, as if I can be part of her world, is a very powerful subliminal message.

4 Somewhere Andy Warhol has got a big smile on his face.

5 I just spent 20 minutes checking out each Polaroid. I don't even look at my own ads that long.

5 I like this ad, but it really bothers me that people are stealing ideas from my life.

5 Kudos to the Wonderbra people for some brilliant co-branding here.

3 Not a bad idea, but why do all the photos look like they're from a dirty Fiona Apple video, while the model looks like she's from the Playboy mansion? Big disconnect.

1 So according to this ad, drinking Skyy makes oddly cropped porn pop out of my Polaroid camera? Is this really a benefit?

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