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Welcome to my review. I know just how busy you are, and the last thing you want to do is try to muddle through some protracted prose to find out whether some reviewer goob liked it or not. So to help save some time, I've instituted a simple rating system consisting of the numbers 1 through 10, with 1 being a Mentos commercial and 10 being completely unattainable perfection.

Sims Sports

10. I know I said a 10 was unattainable, but my rating system was in its infancy and I had no idea I would see this ad. The advertising steals a page (literally) from a classic commemorative plate campaign from the Franklin Mint. What I want to know is who's the freak who's been reading Parade? I could go into why this ad is absolutely perfect, but if you don't get it by just looking at it, your best bet would be to stick to advertising Geritol. This ad is actually part of a series for Sims that has the rest of the snowboard industry sucking wind, and it left me feeling like a totally inadequate hack who would be better off packing it in and opening a travel agency before I'm found out.

Agency Hammerquist & Saffel

Sony Minidisc

2. Then I popped in these Sony spots. Wow, what a relief. I feel better about myself already. In this excuse for the creative team to meet Claudia Schiffer and Dennis Rodman, we are introduced to celebrity after celebrity, only to have each of them tear off a mask along with the line, "That's because I'm not Claudia Schiffer, I'm . . ." to reveal that they are actually a different celebrity. The same gag ends every spot and nobody in our department could figure out the tie-in with the Minidiscs. In fairness, it feels like something went missing somewhere during the process of creating these. Like when the client wants you to remove the concept but keep everything else. Yet I still love them. I can't help it. Because I'm not Alex Bogusky, I'm (rrrrip) . . . Lee Garfinkel!

Agency Lowe & Partners/SMS

director Andy Morahan, Propaganda


9. These spots had something very important right off the bat. The Goodby Silverstein slate. When I saw that, I knew right away the level of work I was dealing with and I didn't have to actually go through the motions of watching them. Way to go, guys. Another home run.

Had I bothered to watch them (and I didn't), I'm sure I would have been impressed by the level of strategic thinking and the way the creative came right out of the product. No borrowed interest for this bunch. Somebody in the office who actually had the nerve to watch these spots mentioned to me that their favorite was the one with people practicing the stupid things we all do when someone whips out a Polaroid at a party. So I thought I'd pass that along.

Agency Goodby Silverstein & Partners

director Baker Smith, Tate & Partners


8. This campaign is one of my favorite things on TV. I like it better than Friends. And this spot is one of the best yet. The first :25 presents a new cola. Granola Cola. A beverage that "cleans the air and actually promotes world peace." The spot is truly funny. One of my copywriters actually called her roommate into the room to "check out" this Granola Cola, only for her to get there just in time to be greeted by the familiar, "Image is nothing. Obey your thirst." That works.

And I feel like shit again.

Agency Lowe & Partners/SMS

director Josh Taft, Satellite

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