98 red-faced anger: Coulter, Franken, Moore, O'Reilly and the Fox News Channel, and the frontrunner for the Democrat's Presidential nod. Does Roger Ailes actually run the world?
87 'QUEER EYE' '03's "The Osbournes." Sew up those spin-off deals quick-like-a-bunny, lest you stagger off into the sunset like Ozzy on a bucketful of pills.
86 BEING 'HOSPITALIZED FOR EXHAUSTION': Why has this gossip column-ism stuck around forever? Because there ain't none better.
84 SHOPPING MAGAZINES: Lucky and by the end of '04 there will be . . . four. Who says the mag world steals all of its ideas!
82 THE BLOGOSPHERE: Out-snarked by sleep-deprived Web denizens? If you're New York mag or the New York Observer, you hire 'em!
79 NIELSEN'S MISSING MEN: Four words: video games, Web porn." Four more: "They ain't coming back."
75 Friendster: Because there aren't enough places to procrastinate on the Web.
70 MEDIA-CHAMPAGNE INDEX: The pre-Christmas count of Fancy Beverage swag (three bottles thus far) is, oh, twice as high as last year's. Cheers!
68 JOURNALISTIC SHAME: Howell Raines out at The Times. Jayson Blair lands signifcant book deal. Plagiarism mini-scandals. Headline: "We suck! Read all about it!"
59 PARIS HILTON: Impossible to avoid, despite having actually done nothing. Remember when gravitas was supposed to reign post-Sept. 11?
50 DAD-ROCK: "Rock" gets so big it inspires indie magazine Tracks. The most lukewarm rating for the most lukewarm subgenre!
48 BONNIE FULLER and DAVID PECKER: Fulcrum of American Media's bid for top-shelf success but also friction point of the entire operation. Which way will it go?
42 AOL TURNAROUND: The top brass promises growth. But the jury's still out on whether users stick with 'em. They bought themselves time; now to deliver.
38 COOLHUNTERS/TRENDSPOTTERS: It's only five minutes before some hipster kid convinces one of 'em that chinstrap beards are the Next Big Thing.
35 SEQUEL SORROW: "Charlie's Angels" and "Matrix" sequels disappoint. Hollywood thrown into panic at prospect of having to come up with new ideas, like, every year.
27 NU-METAL: Korn and Limp Bizkit's long-awaited latest fizzle; has one of the '90s sure-thing subgenres finally run its course?
24 MICHAEL POWELL: Howls from the grassroots blindside his plans to give the conglomerates what they want.
12 MUSIC INDUSTRY: Sues bewildered customer base over illegal downloads. Now that's what we call a marketing strategy!
5 CONRAD BLACK: Reaps whirlwind. Media feast on Hollinger head's alleged misdealings; Lord Black refuses to utter a peep of apology.
0 CELEBRITY: Martha who? Rosie what? Chrysler in Celine denial. Silver lining: No mag for Dr. Phil in '04.