10 Print ads to wrap your fishing

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1. Lincoln Aviator

(Offender: Y&R Advertising, Dearborn)

Likening the adrenaline rush derived from handling Manhattan traffic snarls in an SUV to the experience of a bike messenger (who gets that adrenaline rush from avoiding being hit by SUVs) is just, frankly, embarrassingly laughable. And we dare you to find parking.

2. Ketel One

(Offender: M&C Saatchi, Los Angeles)

The ad for the vodka from Nolet Spirits USA doesn't identify the product, uses a stodgy font, and leaves most of a full page of newsprint blank. So understated Ketel One could save some trees and stop running these ads.

3. Embassy Suites Hotels

(Offender: Omnicom's TBWA/Chiat/Day, New York)

Of all the amenities a hotel can offer, an indoor atrium that looks like an airport terminal doesn't strike us as standout. We'd be more likely to book a room for the free breakfast and free happy hour.

4. Clorox

(Offender: Omnicom's DDB Worldwide, San Francisco)

Now we produce "body soil"? As if we don't have enough to worry about, now we have to fear the microbes from our own bodies. Fear-mongering in this day and age seems misguided at best. What ever happened to whiter whites?

5. Jacob & Co.

(Offender: Omnicom's Arnell Group)

That's some serious bling. This ad for a diamond-encrusted "five-time-zone watch" strikes us as so ugly, crass, and over-the-top, we find it hard to believe this is the best bauble the jeweler has to offer.

6. Hermes

(Offender: Publicis Groupe's Publicis et Nous, Paris)

Granted, luxury goods advertising doesn't often make a lot of sense, but the tagline: "Everything changes but nothing changes" relates to being nude and carrying several Hermes handbags how?

7. Speak Gold

(Offender: BBH, London)

If the gold industry wants to compete with the diamond industry as the gift of love, they better start ripping them off better. Whereas the diamond positioning makes the gem a symbol of enduring love, the take-away from these ads: You can buy love, if gold is involved.

8. Baby Phat

(Offender: Phat Farm in-house in conjunction with photographer Bill Diadato)

Glamour never looked so ... well tawdry. While black and white usually elevates the ordinary to iconic status, its use here just makes it seem they couldn't afford to pay for color.

9. iRiver H 300 Series

(Offender: iRiver, in-house)

Seems the creative brains behind this ad for a me-too iPod from iRiverAmerica figured the best way to sell an MP3 player when everyone really wants a super cool iPod is to get some babes who might be girlfriends to share one.

10. Captain Morgan

(Offender: Grey Worldwide, New York)

Oh what will that crazy captain do next? Draw a mustache on a voter? Noted one commentator on Print Critic.com, "Art direction with masking tape is as tired as `the party' with `the party' booze puns."

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