Sevendust? It's a rap-metal band, not a furniture polish, but they must be doing something right, 'cause they hired unaffiliated director Adam Pollina, a former Marvel and DC comics artist, who has also made a short film called Romp, starring an armless superhero of the same name. Romp stars in this clip, squaring off with Joanie "Chyna" Laurer, late of the WWE, who's having more fun as a blonde these days, and she's sporting very stylish "Oooh" and "Baby" knuckle rings for that all-important fist signature. She manhandles him recklessly, but loses, 'cause Romp can head-butt like a Dew-drenched ram. Nice use of a Mexican midget and great comic book-style freeze frames.
Director: Adam Pollina Editor: Brian Kushner, Purple Cow Post
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, "I Keed, I Keed"
Never mind Weird Al; now we've got Weird Alpo. But any funny music vid is OK in our book, even if it features an annoying hand-operated mongrel with a Frito Bandito accent. Triumph sinks his fangs into just about everybody in pop, and he even takes on the haughty likes of Philip Glass. There's South Park-style animated turds, block-pixed Girls Gone Wild parodies and plenty of just plain dirty fun. Congratulations to Evan "St." Bernard for blowing the woof off this mutha.
Director: Evan Bernard, Chelsea Pictures Editor: Maurice Abbate, Three Fingered Louie Effects: Blink FX
Britney Spears/Madonna, "Me Against the Music"
Britney is now officially Madonna Jr., though we haven't seen her pull her legs behind her head yet, and until they actually make a porn film together-this should happen by 2006, we figure-we'll have to settle for clips like this. We have no idea, as usual, what all the musical fluff is about, but the sets are great and the de rigueur two thousand cuts flow very smoothly. The important thing is the lascivious lasses play love-tag around an antique metal bed frame, do the usual Fosse-derived orgasmic body shtick hard enough to dislocate a hip, and they both maintain an aggressively butchy sapphic subtext throughout-Madonna wields the crotch-caressing cane, but it's Britney who pins her against the wall for the soul-sealing kiss. This moment cops out in a nasty tease, but still, it's going in the right direction. Give pop culture some time to shed what's left of its inhibitions and Oops! I Did You Again will be more than a song parody.
Director: Paul Hunter, HSI Editor: Dustin Robertson/Avid Diva