Remember how thrilled Steve Martin's Navin Johnson character was in "The Jerk" when the new white pages arrived? "The new phone book's here!" he exclaimed. "The new phone book's here!"

That's the kind of excitement Microsoft is hoping for Jan. 30, when its Vista operating system finally goes on sale. Seeking to capitalize on the early reviews ("Windows Vista is essentially warmed-over Windows XP," according to CNET) and Vista buzz generated by sites like BadVista.org, Bill Gates is putting in an appearance on "The Daily Show" tonight, where, apparently, he's hoping for a Steve Jobs-like reception.

At least a couple of electronics chains are opening a bunch of their stores right at midnight, clearly hoping there's an Apple-like feeding frenzy. Cops on crowd-control duty will, presumably, undergo sensitivity training to avoid mistaking the kind of people who are actually excited about Vista -- smelly, disheveled computer nerds -- for unruly homeless people.