Commentary by Ken Wheaton


The Adages Column

By Published on .

We thought Nigella Lawson and Rachel Ray were the only things that would ever get us flustered in a kitchen. Then we received a copy of Edward Jaye’s “The Cookie Sutra.” It’s just like the Kama Sutra, but illustrated with gingerbread men and women in varying poses. and now we feel … well, we’re not quite sure. But a glass of milk wouldn’t hurt. Edward Jaye, it turns out, is actually Ted Jendrysik, a senior VP-group creative director at Mullen. Where did the idea come from? “I’d like to say ‘a really bad experience with gingerbread schnapps,’ but the truth-which may be still more frightening--is that it just popped into my head.”

Mullen group creative director
Sales, apparently are hot, with the book, published by Workman, already in its second printing. It’s even been optioned by a publisher in Germany. “I can’t wait to see what that book looks like,” says Ted. “There’s something about the thought of the cookies having sex in German that kills me.”

But not everyone was wild about the idea. When he first told his art director about the idea, “He just stared at me for a second then said, ‘You’ve had better.’”

A book tour of gingerbread houses across the U.S. will begin as soon as the tour bus comes out of the oven.

Said Mullen coworker David Swaebe: “Well, at least now we know what he does with his spare time.”

Embracing the adult side of spirits
Of course, cookies have nothing on vodka. Mix some heavy breathing, bullwhips and free-flowing vodka, add a couple of hot young actors talking dirty and end up with a marketing coup for all involved.

You may remember Svedka, the premium brand that has been in hot water previously with industry trade group Distilled Spirits Council of the U.S. for its print ads. What’s an alcohol advertiser to do? Move one way, you’re targeting children with your ads. Move another, you’re a smut peddler.

Svedka, it seems, took the latter route. It hosted a night of erotic readings recently at Ivan Kane’s shoebox-size Forty Deuce burlesque club in Hollywood.

Jeremy Piven, an Emmy-nominated member of the “Entourage” ensemble, and Anthony Anderson, of “The Shield” and “Hustle & Flow,” did the honors, promoting their own salty sides as much as the porn-chic sponsor whose tagline is “unadulterated fun.”

Anderson panted and squealed his way through a modern-day bodice-ripper, complete with sex toys as props. Piven, who’d planned to read from Judy Blume’s “Forever,” dipped into his improv roots instead, sharing with the room a list of potty words he’d had to loop that day for the international sales of HBO’s “Entourage.” Then he slid behind the drum kit and jammed with the house band, creating the night’s only TV-safe moments.

Spirits Marque One
The Spirits Marque One brand is launching a campaign in fourth quarter and hyping its arrival to the West Coast. More erotic readings are planned. Ponying up in the Hamptons

You can keep your Page Six and your Hamptons magazine and all the other rags. The hot title to be in is obviously Show Circuit. For the two or three of you who aren’t in the know, Show Circuit is the quarterly equestrian lifestyle mag and it sponsored a party during Hampton Classic last week to benefit the Equestrian AIDS Foundation. Alas, Adages had to skip because our boss figured our time would be better spent at work than hanging out with the horse-and-pony set. Those who did manage to show included: Tony Hitchcock and Jean Lindgren, outgoing executive directors of the Classic, Georgina Bloomberg, Nicoletta Heidegger and Kelly Klein. Oddly enough, a source tells us the magazine was not on display at the party. But James Lipton, of “Inside the Actors Studio,” got his hands on an issue, which just happened to include an article about him.

Klein requested a peek at the magazine, not so much for the Lipton article but for the Klein article. See, everyone’s in this thing (Nicollette Sheridan is the cover girl this month). Lipton obliged, but only for a few seconds before turning back to his article and moving on. Luckily, a fight over who loves their horses more was avoided.

T.L. Stanley contributed to this column.

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