Hotels.com rewinds all the way back to the days of ‘90s after-school specials to deliver a series of cautionary tales. The new campaign from CPB finds the brand’s trusty mascot Captain Obvious in a classroom, dishing out some important advice:

“Listen, we all know you’re going to do it, so you might as well be safe about it,” he begins in one spot. 

The words seem straight out of a safe sex lesson for teens, but it turns out, it’s all about booking. 

“If you’re gonna pull out—book with Hotels.com,” Captain Obvious continues. 

Thanks to the captain, we now know that best practices for planning travel can be a lot like preventing STDs or unwanted pregnancies. Other ads follow suit, like one that recommends how it’s “important to use protection.. So you don’t get into something that you can’t get out of.”