How to network—3 ways to put yourself out there and create meaningful relationships

Holy smokes, do I hate networking. Don’t get me wrong, I love meeting new people. I love learning about upbringings that are different from mine and hearing the stories of people’s journeys. I love getting to know talented, interesting humans. But networking? Networking sucks. This hot take comes from the all-too-many times I’ve shown up somewhere, wearing clothes I didn’t want to wear, standing around awkwardly, shaking someone’s hand and hearing “Yeah, so I’m an entrepreneur building the next Lyft of [insert industry here]” while all I’m thinking about is how I’d rather be on my couch watching Netflix. I’m sure you’ve been there too. Maybe we were at the same event. I was the guy standing in the corner pretending my phone was really interesting. Networking is a transactional game of pretend that, at its worst, boils down to “You have something I need, and I need to convince you to give it to me.” Or vice versa. Sign up for Ad Age newsletters From influencer marketing to agencies, get the latest news and analysis delivered to your inbox Click here And the whole time, all you’re thinking about is how you potentially have no value to offer in this exchange. And also, why would anyone want to network with you? You’re just you, and that other person is looking for any way to escape this conversation. This is all I ever think about when I’m networking. Here’s the truth though: Your network is a fundamentally important part of your job, and as far as I know, networking is the only way to build one. Randomly adding people you don’t know and will never speak to on LinkedIn does not count. Creating meaningful relationships does. So, since we have to do it—maybe AI can overtake this human exchange—here are some ways I’ve found to make it suck less. Nobody knows what they’re doing As a kid, did you ever look at adults and think, “Wow, they have it all figured out,” only to become an adult and realize nobody knows what they’re doing? We’re all figuring it out on the go. Well, that same realization applies to networking. Imposter syndrome is real, and because it never goes away, the more you acknowledge its existence, the easier it is to accept it about yourself. More experience ≠ better than you Putting anyone on a pedestal means you’re left standing alone, so don’t do that. Their kids probably think they’re lame, their friends make fun of their quirks and their partners yell at them for not putting the dirty knife in the dishwasher. Never feel intimidated to talk to someone. Should they try to one-up or intimidate you, refer back to the fact that nobody knows what they’re doing. It’s called making friends, not getting friends The only way to make friends is to put yourself out there. That’s the silver lining of a network: It is a group of people who are in your corner. People you can call on when you need help, who are there to support you and champion you. Your job is to do the same for them. So, send the message or email and go to the events. If you don’t, someone else will. Your network, just like friendships, is a garden that needs tending, so be a good person by checking in on folks and being a helping hand when they need it Next time you find yourself at an event or in a room with folks you don’t know, keep these tips in mind and navigate through the room with confidence. If all else fails, here’s a secret trick with a 100% success rate. Everyone has one conversation topic they’re more interested in than anything else—themselves. Simply ask about them and listen to their answer. Like … really listen. Don’t stop and think about what you’re going to say next. Just hear their story. You’d be shocked at how just shutting up for a minute is the best way to meet new people. And if you ever randomly see me somewhere, come up and say hi.

How to network—3 ways to put yourself out there and create meaningful relationships

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