Who needs comfort when you can have the extra scrubbing power of fiber and splinters to help get those last bits of doo-doo off your derriere?

Georgia Pacific's Quilted Northern has debuted a new line of specialty TP, what it bills as the "biggest innovation in toilet paper since the 3-ply roll." The new product brings an artisanal, handcrafted sensibility to an unlikely realm, the potty, with varieties that include the Small Batch Rustic Weave, Cedar Loom and Extra Virgin Birch -- for those of you who prefer more bark on your butt.

Any of these would make for an especially charming accessory to back-to-the-earth homemakers who prefer a hole in the ground to the latest ceramic throne.

Created out of Droga5, the ad promoting the product says, "It's tissue that's genuinely tree to toilet, for a more memorable bathroom experience." The idea is a sharp contrast to the brand's "Designed to Be Forgotten" tagline, and indeed, Quilted Northern says the idea "rolls back 100 years of innovation."

Go to QuiltedNorthern.com for more details -- but only just for today, you April Fool.

See more brand holiday pranks in AdAge's roundup.